This blog has its foundation set in a talk that I heard Pujya Swami Dayananda Sarawati give, on the topic ‘Living a life of least disturbance to self and others’; wherein being sensitive to one’s surroundings and environment is a critical component. The one hour of this talk, set me thinking of the impact I or rather ‘my disturbed state’ will have on myself and others too J

Like always, I had questions to myself as I was listening to the talk. It was indeed a challenge not to go into a contemplative mode as the talk was unfolding on the topic, lest I miss the learnings.. I had to hence keep myself busy jotting down as the topic was being unfolded and I paid heed to the talk J.

I would like to share some questions that occurred to me and also my own thoughts to those questions. I have penned this blog differently, in the method of questions and answers.

Pls note, in the answers where inputs from pujya swAmiji’s talk is also mentioned, I have added (PS) by the side of that input.

  1. When or why do we get disturbed?

We get disturbed when certain situations don’t meet our expectations. This in a nutshell, encapsulates all situations that do not meet our expectations. Sharing just a few situations..

    1. We are to meet someone at a specific time. The person neither arrives on time nor do we hear from them on the delay. This disturbs us
    2. As a student, we expect to have performed well in exams and when our marks / grades come, we see that it does not reflect our perception of our performance. This disturbs us
    3. Our child is learning an art form and we want them to perform in front of guests. They do not want to perform. This disturbs us
    4. There is an untoward incident that has happened in the city we live in and we expected the authorities to take corrective action. They took corrective action but not in the way we expected them to or no corrective action was taken. This disturbs us
    5. The traffic signal is at red. All vehicles have stopped. Suddenly a car / bike is driven forward without following the traffic rules. This disturbs us
    6. An animal is lying on the road hurt and people are looking at it but walking past without taking any action. The animal lover that we are, this disturbs us and the list goes on..

It is but natural for us to have expectations. When these expectations are not handled in the way they need to be handled, we find ourselves disturbed.

  1. Is it possible for us not to be disturbed by situations?

Is it really possible? If that was the case, we should be saints who have empowered themselves with the ability to handle situations that occur in their life. Many of us are not and we are hence given to being disturbed.

  1. Assuming we are disturbed, isn’t it natural to radiate that disturbance in our face and / or thru our words / actions? If we do that, will we not disturb them too? Should I mask my disturbed state with a smile?

You will show it and it is fine at times to convey to others that you are disturbed (PS). This answer made me feel that it is ok to be disturbed and show it too and there is nothing wrong in it. This put me at ease completely.

  1. Is being sensitive a healthy trait?

Being sensitive is a human trait. One should be sensitive without the sensitivity being a liability (PS). This thought was a profound one to hear, answered my question but raised another one..

  1. How can sensitivity be a liability?

Being sensitive leaves us helpless, angry and will leave us disturbed too. When we are disturbed, we disturb others, One is free to be disturbed (PS).

Some of us are so sensitive that every situation that deviates from our expectations even a wee small bit, will disturb us and make us to react; this is certainly a liability, is it not?

  1. So should we not be sensitive then?

Not being sensitive is not possible and also not right. Sensitivity is a blessing / prerogative of ours (PS).

Sensitivity brings with it compassion and love and both these aspects are important to live in harmony.

  1. How do we then handle this aspect of ‘Living a life of least disturbance to self and others’?

We have to reinforce ourselves with a capacity to remain undisturbed while at the same time being sensitive. We have to make a commitment to ourselves to live a life of least disturbance to ourselves and others (PS).

  1. How do we do this?

Multiple answers occur to this question..

–         Learn to handle expectations

–         Accept ourselves for what we are

–         Begin the day with a commitment to ourselves

–         Understand that there is a background to every situation that unfolds in our lives

–         Give ourselves the time to bring in a change

Listening to the talk made me reflect and contemplate, giving me the opportunity to understand myself. I could feel the ripples in me quietly settling down as I repeated to myself “I am fine the way I am and I accept myself the way I am”.