In all possibilities, this is the last of the blogs on Mr. D. He will always be etched in memory, bringing memorable moments of times with him; and perhaps at times  a few moments of sadness and tears. Such is life – two sides of the coin that go hand-in-hand.

After we adopted Mr. D, one of the initial inputs we received from Karthik, our own trusted, passionate and competent canine behaviourist was, “Don’t humanise Mr. D”. It didn’t occur to me to ask a detailed explanation about what he meant by humanising but my understanding was:

– while we may consider him as a part of the family, he is not a human. He has his own way of showing his affection and needs and it may not be the way we think

– when we give him a lot of love and affection and food and we expect him to reciprocate to us in a certain way, he would not. He will reciprocate in the way he can and would

– he will consider one person as his master and that person will mean to him a lot more than the others.

All these were to understand how he could be – and that helped to learn to handle our expectations from a canine 😊

However, what was unclear was, how to be with him – this lack of clarity is where a lot of learning happened.

I am a person who loves talking to myself; and after Mr. D came home, I would talk a lot to him. What he listened or whether he listened I don’t know. He was a great listener though😊. No questions he would ask and no disagreements; at times, his ears would suddenly perk up – I thought that signified that he was alert to what I was saying. A minute later he would be fast asleep, making me realise that something in my tone alerted him and not what I was saying. Poor me and him!! All he wanted to do was perhaps sleep and I made him to listen (or I think he did).

Is this talking to him considered humanising? I have no answers!!

Oh and did this love for talking with Mr. D help!! It certainly did (for me and I believe for him too 😊)

Two situations remain foremost:

First

Mr. D was not comfortable with water being splashed / poured on him.

Having a bath was a definite NO NO and so was being in the pool.

Stepping out in a drizzle was a NOPE NOPE NOPE.

Getting wet in the rain was grrrrr for him.  He would shake his body frequently – to get the water off his body? fear of water or dislike for it?

In the initial months when he was small, he would wriggle out off the holder’s hands when he knows that he is being taken towards the bathroom. He would scamper and we would run after him. It would be a crazy run and chase!!

He must have been about 6 months and grown bigger. He had to be taken for a bath and he somehow knew it. That’s it!! He dug himself tightly onto the floor and became stiff. No amount of trying to lift him worked. The more we tried, the more he dug in. In addition, he would shiver continuously. Oh, how his body would heave!!

Bathe he must, as it is needed for his physical hygiene!!

Seeing him digging in, shivering and becoming stiff, I thought I should talk to him and calm him down; and get him ready for his bath. I spoke and spoke and spoke for about ten minutes.

My words may have not made any meaning for him but the tone would have. After ten minutes of talking to him, when he was lifted, the resistance was still there but much less a resistance. I call these sessions, ‘My counselling sessions with Mr. D’. Every two to three weeks, these sessions would happen.  After his bath, he would run helter-skelter in the house, with his wet paws making him skid. He would not allow anyone to dry him with a towel, perhaps because he thought they would take him to the bathroom again. When I held the towel and went near him, he would stand rooted, allow himself to be rubbed dry.

Well, both the ‘counselling’ helped and he also thought that I am not the person who will give him his bath. 😊 😊

Second

A few days before Mr. D moved on, he was going thru a very very painful time. I thought I would ‘counsel’ him. I would talk to him at every opportunity I could. It was as though I was motivating and willing him to get better. The talk was exactly the way I would, with a small kid who is sick and needs to be pepped up. I would talk him into having small morsels of his favorite food. He would not turn his face away like he would do, when we had to give him drops of water.. he would sniff and lift his face up but he wouldn’t have the appetite to eat the given morsels of his favorite food.

This time however, I am not sure if this ‘counselling’ or talking to helped, because he didn’t get better. I believe though that it would have helped in some way. In what way, is anybody’s guess!!

A couple of times and a few hours before he passed on, I thought his jaws took the shape of a smile. The first time I saw it, I was taken aback. The next couple of times I saw it, I had to shake myself to observe more keenly..

Was it a smile or was I in an illusion?

Can canines smile or is it humanising his facial movement? I am not sure again but thinking that he was smiling certainly makes me feel better and helps handling the memories of those last few hours of being with him and watching him.

Did my talking to him humanise him, especially when I thought that he could understand my tone? I don’t have any answers to this.

When there is a canine at home 24/7 for 365 days a year,  for four and  years, humanising is likely to happen, consciously or unconsciously. At the same time, Karthik’s statement of “Don’t humanise Mr. D” would make its presence felt, from time to time. This would then create an alertness in me, to watch out for any humanising I may do.

If I were asked whether I would do it any differently, given another chance, my answer is a NO. Well, there is no second chance and the first chance is precious enough with no regrets whatsoever – even if some humanising was a part of it, consciously or unconsciously!!

Blogs of Mr. D would have never been written if it was any different!!