Have you ever gone back in thoughts, to reflect on what is it that has shaped the way you are?

What has been that driving force?

A person? Some people? Experiences?

What is it?

As I reflected, I wondered where my fascination for observing my environment comes from. An environment that comprises of nature and only nature, in its varied forms – be it natural or man-made.

That’s when it occured to me that one key influencer is Desmond Morris, the author of books such as Body Watching, Man Watching, Cat Watching, Baby Watching and a few others. The first time I heard of him was when I worked in Landmark Bookshop in Chennai a few decades back. Desmond Morris’s book would sell like hot cakes. Working in a book shop, I had the pleasure of having the opportunity to read a page or two or more, when there was some free time. When I saw the way his books were selling, my curiosity was piqued.

Many of his books eneded with the word ‘Watching’. Each book was so detailed about what was watched. So much analysis and interpretation done; of expressions, gestures, body language like the upward or downward curl of the lips, pupil dilation and contraction, culture and what not. The subject that was ‘watched’ were aplenty. So much research that would have gone into each book.

Just reading his books would always make me joke that even if he wrote a book on Wall Watching, it would sell like hot cakes; because of how many different kinds of walls he would have seen and interpreted 🙂

The more I read his books, the more I was fascinated with ‘watching’ or rather observing because of the analysis and interpretations I saw myself making, when I observe. So true what he says, “A man-watcher is a field observer of human actions and his field is everywhere – at the bus stop, the super market, the airport, the street corner, the dinner party and the football match. Wherever people behave, there the man watcher has something to learn – something about his fellow men and ultimately about himself.”

These are words that so resonated in me and made an impact on me. In my view, the days of reading Desmond Morris’s books is when my journey in observations began – of myself and the environment around me.

Every observation of behaviour would be recorded and sub-consciously analysed, interpreted and stored. Over the many behaviours observed, patterns will be recognised and understanding drawn from them. I became my own observer, analyser, interpreter and a learner of myself.

It wouldn’t be fair to say that there were no assumptions and judgments made, based on the observations. They were and they are made!! However, what also stayed within me is the statement I would always say to myself, “People are what they are, including me”. This helped in taking people (including me) as they are, most most of the times 🙂

One of my predominant learnings from his books, is the reading of body language. Our body communicates in ways that we also are not aware of. Two incidents stand out starkly in my mind. One that happened years back and one that happened recently.

One – I was talking to a friend and something made me ask him if he was ok. He answered me in the affirmative and a few minutes later asked me why I asked him the question. I told him that something about the way he was holding his neck, made me feel so. I recall him looking stupefied and saying that he prided himself for having a poker face, but didn’t seem to have a poker neck 🙂

Two – recenly I was talking to a young girl and was enacting a situation for her. A little while later, I asked her if she saw any change in my body language as I was enacting. Pat came her answer, “You broadened your shoulders while enacting and that made me think that you are confident.” It was my turn to be stupefied because I had no idea that I broadened my shoulders. But yes, my enaction was one of ‘not allowing myself from being threatened’.

What the young girl said personifies what Desmond Morris said – thoughts drive actions, actions become gestures and gestures transmit messages.

Needless to say, some of what he said maybe outdated today, given the way humans have evolved and cultures have changed.

I owe a lot of my deep analysis of situations and experiences, to my exposure to Desmond Morris’s books that have shaped the way I see life in its entirety.  I now look forward to reading his books all over again to see if my perspectives have changed in the way I observe. Most importantly, I want to read Dog Watching to see how much of Mr. D I can see, thru his words.

If I were to ask you the reader, to say what shaped you, what would you say?