Oh, what an evening it was!!!

As I got into my apartment building at about 8.30 PM, here were these two kids all of 7 / 8 years of age, playing in the sand pit. The moment they saw me coming in, I heard them say, “Let’s ask Malathy aunty if we can go to her house.” I know these kids and I talk to them whenever I meet them. This time, I was surprised to hear this statement because they are always happy playing outdoor games. When I asked them what this was all about, they told me that their usually frequented aunty’s house wasn’t available for visiting. Since they saw me, they wanted to know if they could come home. No hold barred statement and said so matter of factly.

When asked why they were out at 8.30 PM and not in their homes, one (Kid A) of them said, “Aunty, Friday night and Saturday night I am allowed to be back home late. On other days and sundays, I cannot stay out late as I have school the next day. I need to sleep early.” The other kid (Kid B) nodded his head. My smile just went wider. Compliant kids at this point in time!! Good going certainly 🙂

As I engaged in a conversation with them, they told me that they were attending Chess classes. Kid A said that he knows more than Kid B because he is attending classes for a long time; and it is easy to defeat him because, “I know many tactics, aunty. I play very well” Yet another matter of fact statement. I was taken in by the confidence in this young boy!! 🙂

Like I am not able to read books of PG Wodehouse beyond the first two pages, no matter how much I try learning to play Chess, it isn’t happening. The more I try to learn the game, the more it is elusive.

Remembering that there is a Chess board and coins at home, I rummaged a cupboard and got it out. Krishnan (my husband) plays the game. When asked if they would play with him, they readily said yes and Krishnan was more than willing to play with them.

The game started.  Kid A nominated Kid B to play, not because Kid B was younger to him but because he thought Kid B has just started learning and can play first. Kid B on the other hand was very sure to start with that he was not going to win against Krishnan. When asked why, he said, ” Because Uncle is big and will play well.” :-).. Size and age matters certainly, in the mind. 

As the game proceeded, it was fascinating to watch the two kids. It was almost like them playing the game in their mind. I have heard that Chess is a mind game and seeing it being played in close quarters, I understood why. The moment Krishnan made a move, Kid B made an immediate counter move. Kid A watching this, would either tell Kid B, “Good move” or “If I were you, I would made a different move”. However, he won’t tell what the move would be until Kid  B asked for it. We always talk about refraining from giving unsolicited advice and suggestions and Kid A was following that, naturally.

As the game went on, Kid A would talk to Kid B and the topic could be anything that he wanted to speak on. There were times when he will be quiet watching the game but more often, he would talk. There was a point when Kid B told Kid A, “Stop stop. Don’t talk. When you talk, I can’t think.” My first thought was, “I talk about self-advocacy to young adults and adults alike and here is this 7 / 8 year old who is actually following this with his friend. It truly was a moment of joy listening to this and I am hoping and praying that this ability of self-advocacy stays on in this kid for years to come; and also in Kid A.

It was 9.30 PM and the game was still on. Kid B was certainly not making any incorrect  moves and since I was interested to know who the game was tilted towards, I asked Kid A (as he was observing the game). He said, “Aunty, looks like uncle may win.” Kid B who in the beginning said the same, seemed to have changed his view. His immediate response was, “How can you say that bro? You can’t tell at the start of the game who will win. The game can change anytime.” What a powerful statement from this young boy!!

Time passed on and the game was still on. My fascination grew. The enthusiasm of the two kids hadn’t dulled even a bit. Krishnan was as interested in continuing the game. With every move of Kid B, both kids rejoiced. It came to a point when Kid A and Kid B became one. It wasn’t that – he is playing and I am not… or I am playing so why should I ask him. Kid A will offer his suggestion with a question mark tone.. and Kid B will want to make a move and ask, “Should I move the coin here?” At one time, Kid A said, “Escape, don’t come forward. It is ok to go back.” He meant it from the game of Chess and I took it from the way of Life!!

It was almost 10.30 PM and for Krishnan the game was over as he had one coin left and Kid A being the victor was evident for him. These boys on the other hand wanted him to play. They said, “Uncle, you have a small chance to win. You play.” They also gave explanations as to what could happen and how Krishnan could continue playing and may win. What persistence and perseverence from the kids!!

Just before they left, they asked me if I can play with them. I told them that I know nothing about playing the game. Their parting words were, “We will teach you, aunty.”

The two hours watching how these kids respond to Chess was a delight to watch. Their innocence, knowledge of the game based on their experience, learning and approach to the game was a delight to watch.

I love board games and I strongly believe that what we learn from a board game can be generalised to day to day living.. I also love interacting and engaging with children. I have always found children’s innocence and approach to life very refreshing. Interacting with children on a board game, was so much of learning. Here’s what stood out after the evening of Chess.

– You know certain things and you can do your best with what you know..

– Be a your own self-advocate.. If others need to know of something about you, that is needed for them to know, say it in a timely manner..

– Life can change anytime.. Be with the flow!!

– It is ok at times to step back or sideways; and that could be a wise move, based on the situation.. Moving forward sometimes can be an unwise move..

– Is there a win or a loss? Well, it is only learning every step of the way..

Reality is that we change due to the turn of events in our lives and our experiences; but I hope and believe that these two kids and many more like them will learn to retain the child-like nature in them, as they grow in life. Something that is also in the hands of each of us, be it as a parent, educator or the society at large.

Let us give every child the space and time they need to grow and evolve to be the best version of themselves, in every possible moment!!