It is strange that memories we think are locked up or that we think we have let go because we don’t think about them, have the incredible knack of surfacing at times when we are the least ready for it. Such was the case when we went for a walk in Cubbon Park.

It was meant to be just a walk but the extended family who were with us, wanted to go to the fenced dog park inside Cubbon Park; it drew their fascination. I too walked with them enjoying the nature around. It was when I stood outside the fence watching the other canines, that a flood of emotions hit me –  unexpected and unanticipated flood of tears due to an unpredicted onslaught of memories of Mr. D at this Dog Park and in Cubbon Park.

Mr. D is more friendly towards humans than with his fellow canines – we have often wondered if there should be more exposure for him to other canines. We thought we did give the exposure but we always felt that it wasn’t sufficient. In addition to that, his reaction towards many others of his species, didn’t seem friendly – either he would growl or crouch like a tiger and charge suddenly or would point blank ignore the other canine. Alternatively, the other canine will growl and / or charge and in response he would growl back and pull his leash and charge. This happened in his first visit to this Dog Park.

In another visit and a walk with him in Cubbon Park, we were almost at the end of it when his ‘Master’ (our older son) who was with him, paused for a few minutes to talk to his friend, a canine behaviourist, who had accompanied us for the walk. Mr. D also stopped and stood in absolute stillness, with just his face moving a bit. This canine behaviourist called out to me and asked me to watch Mr. D’s stance. The stillness and stance and the way his ears were perked and eyes darting to different sides, were apparently indicators of him protecting his ‘Master’. What was he protecting him against, was my question. The response from the canine behaviorist was – he thinks his ‘Master’ needs to be protected and that’s it. Why and what, are questions for which we won’t get answers 🙂

I have always beein in awe of the way Mr. D and his ‘Master were with one another but this instance at Cubbon Park made me be more in awe. Who was whose bodyguard and who was protecting whom!!!

The flood of memories that opened out many an emotion, made it difficult for me to be near the Dog Park. I excused myself and walked and walked till I reached a space with lesser visitors and to be with myself. The tears didn’t stop and I decided not to let it stop either. Some questions (as usual) arose in me and I had my own responses to them.

– Am I feeling bad to see other dogs who came with those raising them? No

– Am I feeling a tad jealous? No

– Am I missing Mr. D? Yes

– What is it that I am missing? No answers

– What is it that is making me tear up? No answers

As I looked around at the green grass all around me and the abundance of nature, Mr. D seemed everywhere. Not physically present and yet present in spirit.

I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of emotions and memories but in those many minutes I had to myself, I decided to let myself be with Mr. D’s memories and the emotions these memories generated.

An amazing stress buster.. A super listener.. A wonderful playmate.. A great companion.. and the list could go on..

Friendly.. Fun.. Resilient.. Gritty.. Loved life, his home and above all loved his ‘Master’ to moon and back.. and the list could go on..

This blog was meant to be written a few days back but it didn’t.. When I started to pen it today is when I realised that it is two years today since Mr. D moved on..

A day which did bring in sadness but along with it, it brought in an immense admiration for Mr. D for the way he handled his painful days.. awe when seeing and experiencing his intense desire to live, despite all his pain.. smile seeing him raise his head and sniff the smell of dosa wafting from the kitchen, despite his lack of apetite.. and much much more..

It is said that a dog is an animal which is loyal.. To me, this day two years ago showed me how two living beings, one with 5 senses and one with 6, can be with one another – incredibly loving each other, unbeleivably compassionate to one another, completely giving to the other and will be there for the other, no matter what..

A big salute to Mr. D and his ‘Master!!! Totally made for each other!!