A request and a disclaimer: Before you begin to read this blog, request you to first read the 3 parts of ‘Stroke in the canvas called ‘The Value of Values’. You may also choose to read the blogs on the values of amAnitvam, adambhitvam, ahimsA (the value of ahimsA is in three parts) kshAntiH, Arjavam, AchAryopAsanam, Saucam, Sthairyam, AtmavinigrahaH and indriyArthesu vairAgyam though they are not a prerequisite to reading this value. The language and explanations used by pUjya swAmiji is so profound, that I wish I do justice by aligning my understanding to his explanation, as I parallelly try to relate it to day to day living.. Any error in the way I have blogged upon these values, is due to an error in my understanding alone.
anahankAraH means absence of the sense of I, me and mine. The absence here is not absolute absence but a relative absence. I have drawn my own meaning to the word relative, after reading up on this value a few times. It is rather strange because it is not easy for us to read the same thing over and over again; however, every time I read up on a value before I blog on it, clarity emerges at different levels. Ah!! So many I’s here!! :-).
The value of anhankAra and amAnitvam seem similar. This is so because both of these values focus on absence of pride / ego and absence of self conceit respectively. Both pride / ego and self conceit are synonymous. The difference as I see it, will also be unfolded as you read on.
Janus: I don’t understand this. Why am I not supposed to say that I won this title? What’s wrong in it? I won it and that’s the fact!!
Vayun: What are you muttering under your breath, Janus?
Janus: Vayun, I recently won a chess title and you also know it. I told a few people about this yesterday and they felt that I was blowing my own trumpet. In fact one of them called me an egotist.
Vayun: It depends on how you say it and what runs in your mind when you say this? When you say that you won the title, you must feel a sense of pride, isn’t it?
Janus: Of course I do, Vayun. It’s been my dream to win a chess title and I know how much effort I have put in, for this to happen.
Vayun: Agreed Janus, but when you said that you won the title, are you also giving credit for those who also helped to make this happen?
Janus: I don’t think I did because I saw no reason to. It was my effort which made me win the title; but I can’t ignore what you are saying either.
Vayun: I guess that is what made them to use the word egotist. It does make sense, for you to feel proud of the fact that you won the chess title. It certainly could not have been done without your effort, though it is important to give credit to those who contributed to your winning the title, whoever they maybe.
Janus: You know Vayun, when they called me an egotist, it made it seem as though I was self conceited but that’s not what I am. I don’t expect others to praise me but I just shared what made me proud.
Vayun: I am so glad that you brought in the difference between self conceit where one expects others to also respect them; and pride where one’s respect for oneself is so high that others don’t get their share of credit. I think we all need to have a certain amount of ego and pride (healthy ego as the psychologists would say:-)) as we need it to fuel our energy to achieve our goal / vision. The challenge begins when we say “I have done this. I have achieved this’ I have made it happen. But for me, we would not have made it.”
Janus: I don’t know, Vayun. You have triggered too many thoughts in me now. Honestly, I was the opposite of what I am today. I never used to talk about what I have done and if at all I do, I will give others the credit and say that I have not done anything myself.
Vayun: And that also not right, Janus. Self condemnation is also not acceptable as much as pride or ego isn’t. When you self condemn, you are not thinking healthily of yourself and that has a bearing on the inner cleanliness (saucam).
Janus: So self condemnation is not acceptable and so isn’t pride and ego. Then what is acceptable?
Vayun: These are two extremes, Janus – self condemnation and pride / ego. What you need to do is to strike a balance between the two. It is a fact that we need to feel a sense of pride in what we achieve and in what we know. This will help us to move further. We gladly say that we know something, don’t we as we like to claim knowledge. At the same time , we also condemn ourselves for what we think we did not achieve or did not do. Ignorance is not something we like to claim as being, isn’t it? Nothing is absolute, everything is relative!!
Janus: Interesting this is!! Go on, Vayun..
Vayun: Go back to your life from childhood, Janus. Your parents and family were given. Your education during childhood was also given, you had your experiences which gave you opportunities and learning. You had people helping you out, physically and mentally. If you won, someone helped you to win, either by guiding you or by losing to you :-). At the same time, think of the effort and time that you have put in to make the person that you are. If you have won your chess title, your own effort has played a role here. When you look at things from this perspective, life certainly looks a wonder and a miracle. It is a neat balance, where no scale is heavier than the other!!
Janus: Oh my god, Vayun! The way you say it makes me feel as though I am sitting in front of a huge water body that is still. It is quiet and calm and as I sit there watching the still waters, with my chin tucked between my knees, I feel a quietness within me. Your words will ring in me for a long time, I am sure. The day will come when I will say a ‘Thank you;’ to someone who complimented me and also give credit to the people who contributed to me being complimented. No pride / ego, no self condemnation.
Janus felt himself going quiet too.. Still waters not only run deep but have a quietening power too!!
May 3, 2017 at 12:32 am
Something which may be relevant can also be discussed. All subtle wordings has to be used here, because, the subject of ahankAra is so profound and extremely complex, that it can not be understood by mere reading of the books. It is better understood only through a proper tutelage from an AchAryan (the word itself is so coined to give a meaning ‘one who conducts himself and arranges his day to day affairs in accordance with how he has been initiated so by his AchAryan and so on). Do not get an impression it transgresses into a religious expression, no it is certainly not, if it is understood as SanATanaDharma.
It is certainly alright that for practical application if it is understood that discarding of ahankAra is not discarding of the consciousness of ‘I’ itself (which is almost-not totally-impossible) but only the discarding of ‘I’ alone is to be credited with an achievement in total disregard of the whole lot of a big other definite contributors-the parents, teachers, friends, advisers, environment, and the whole lot. But the real impart in this context is more profound as advocated by scores of scholars (who hold on to the principle of deterministic universe) on the subject that this ‘I’ identity itself is created by the System (responsible for the functioning of the universe in a holistic way, but deterministic way) in its normal way of using an innumerable set of entities to get its job done and identify a particular job having executed by a particular entity. Just to draw an analogy (strictly for analogy only and not to declare that it is exactly the same as that) a computer or a cell phone is identified with a unique number in order to connect an instrument to a particular execution of job so that it is possible to trace whose tool it was. Will the computer have a pride of personal execution?
It may look bizarre at this juncture to imagine this way, but if it is agreed that we have not casually or chance landed here (universe) without any objective and carry on with whatever that comes our way, a combination of a few by chance and a few by our own design and convert them to our advantage, but are here with a universal goal of a System then the team work in a much higher plane will be more strongly understood, than if we merely stop with the suggestion that a whole lot of innumerable agencies are obviously responsible and the recognition of which is discarding of ‘I’ . That will appear to have gone into recognition, but it will soon go into oblivion due to the exposure to an infinite complex varieties of distractions as part of mAya (caution-no religious expression here).
Incidentally, it may also be clear that it may not be an appropriate expression if ahankAra is merely translated as ‘ego’ which sounds ordinary (to me of course!). More appropriate (may not again be exact) could be the selfishness.
This is one of the reasons why scholars (of theology I mean, which expression we can not avoid if it is held that the universe is deterministic and not casual) have gone to the extent of interpreting that this ‘I’ itself is non-existent, when the whole universal is functioning is due to the will of one System and not by individual entities by their unlimited free will. The free will they have is subject to the overall OS of the System!
Once if it is looked at this way, equanimity in the circumstances of the duals of mAna-apmAna, (respect-disrespect) sukha-duhkha (comfort-discomfort) etc., gradually is gained and the whole lot of whether one should have a good ego or not etc., loose their relative significance.
Indeed a difficult subject, but understanding from that perspective without loosing interest in putting the best effort in execution (that is the job of a tool free of manufacturing defects is it not?) may probably enhance the beauty of the subject
Disclaimer: As I (no ahankAra meant here) have already pointed out, this expression in this particular way is mine (no mamakAra meant here), but obviously after hearing from many scholars’ views on the subject and therefore no personal authorship is meant!
March 24, 2017 at 9:37 am
Interesting!!!
March 3, 2017 at 8:01 pm
Well explained.