Whatever is here in this post is my understanding of a discourse of pujya swAmi Dayananda Saraswati. Any error in understanding is mine alone.
It was a powerful six and half minute video that was the instrument for this blog.
I have been hearing a lot from various people generally, on how happiness is inside oneself and the world outside cannot be the source of one’s happiness. Though I could align with it, I could not understand this. There were a multitude of questions that always sprang up in me, when I heard these statements.
– If happiness is inside oneself, how can what I do create unhappiness in another?
– How can what others do, make me either happy or sad?
– Why do people then say, “I would be really happy if you would do that”
– Others feel happy or sad because of me, I feel sad or happy because of others, why are we spending so much of our time on so many of these moments of happiness and sadness?
This video set me thinking on all these questions and helped me understand myself far more. It did though raise a few more questions that I am seeking answers for 🙂
The example given by pujya swAmiji to explain this concept is fictional but it just nails it. A dog finds a dry bone and starts chewing it. As it chews, there is blood that comes out from its mouth due to the wounds created by its biting of the bone as it took the dry bone for real meat. When the dog was asked if it was eating meat, it said a yes: and went on to to say that before eating it there was no blood and after eating it, it tasted blood and so the blood belonged to what it was eating.
I could not help but smile at the line of my thought after hearing this example!!
– We are in a situation that makes us happy, we think that the situation and the people in that situation gives us happiness?
– More and more such situations occur and the same people are involved in every situation, we attribute the source of happiness to the people in that situation? And more so to the others than to myself?
– We are in a situation that makes us unhappy, we think that the situation and the people in that situation gives us unhappiness?
– When more and more such situations occur and the same people are involved in every situation, we attribute the source of unhappiness to the people in that situation? And more so to the others and at all times or sometimes, also to myself?
– When situations of happiness or unhappiness of the same kind happens inconsistently, we say that others have changed and hence we are not able to get what we want?
In every one of the situations, we became happy or unhappy only after the situation and hence others are the reason for it?
Where is the happiness or unhappiness stemming from? Taking myself as an example here, it stems from my wants as an individual and when these wants are fulfilled. I am happy and when these wants are not unfulfilled I am unhappy. I am also happy from the time one want is fulfilled and till I spot my next want.
Extending this further, in this gap between the fulfillment of one want and the spotting of another, there seems to be a lot of space which seems to give us the energy to achieve many a thing in life. So does this mean that the source of happiness or unhappiness is we ourselves? or rather our wants?
Wants – to have or not to have, that’s the question. 🙂
Are there any answers to this question? I don’t know..
I am aware of only one thing now – the answer to my happiness lies in myself..
P. S – here is the link to the video that was the instrument for this blog – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzFxCt4ZpYs
May 6, 2017 at 1:22 am
A good question to deal with on how happiness is inside oneself and the conviction that world outside cannot be the source of one’s happiness.
Is there a doubt whether the happiness is felt by the person who is happy? Apparently ‘no’. The doubt is just confined to- ‘what is the source of happiness, whether the source of happiness is outside or inside. Even in such cases the biggest doubt is ‘whether it can be lasting happiness or temporary’ and if not a lasting happiness whether it can be truly called happiness or other corollary questions.
What does it matter if happiness is temporary? If the happiness is temporary, then that happiness will itself turn to be a source of misery when it disappears is it not? Though it appears I am rushing with quick conclusions in this aspect, its reality will be appreciated if we think deeply for a while.
Let us take for example, one’s life- a period between 15 years and 55 years. During this period one may have good education, get a good job with earning potential, marry a good spouse, have wonderful children and see them settling in life so well. It is possible that all these things may happen to a person without any interruption (barring minor incidents like getting ill or delay in getting seat in a college that person wanted or something all being overcome within a short period, so that these were just disappointments not unhappiness of lasting nature so to say, because getting changed quickly by alternates/ different opportunities). Thus the probability ratio can be very high for a person to be continuously in enjoyment for the 40 years. Does this mean a permanent happiness?
The answer may be surely an yes, during that period of enjoyment, for, the person is yet to be lead to the thinking of what is unhappiness or sadness in its real sense.Then comes the stage that person catches up with the advancing age. In this phase the probabilities of the person getting into higher- age related ailments that stay, associated psychological problems of getting aged and so on.
Does this mean the above thing take away the happiness?
Nay, say the elders, provided a person knows that he/she is not what he/she imagines as ‘dying’ after a period of, say 100 years, just half of the period being in entirety of happiness as stated above.
It is very difficult to understand it or appreciate that though one could align with that reality in it, unless he himself gets into that phase, not merely hearing about it in a lecture. The multitude of questions will spring and remain haunting once that inevitable period actually starts for that person.
The example given by Swamy DayAnanDA will start being a reality, starting off initially as non-noticed and gradually swallow that person itself unconsciously! During the period of reasonably uninterrupted ‘long’ period of happiness) one will hardly realise whether or not others feel happy or sad because of that person’s actions (even unintended ones), that person feels happy because of others, or why is that person spending so much of that person’s time on so many of these moments of happiness.
Then when the next phase comes naturally that person will start grappling with the host of questions raised in the blog! The opportunity to ponder over where does the happiness or unhappiness stemming from itself will never arise during the period of happiness!
That is why even during that unknowing period, approaching of a guide (who has undergone this ordeal or experienced this and therefore become enlightened) is suggested as a necessity. I know you will immediately ask unless I know there is an impending danger how will I ever have the idea or urge to seek such a guide? This is where the parental guidance comes from as a part of one’s life’s curriculum in a routine manner which will provide an opportunity during that stint to get to know various things unintended even!!
It will be a myth to assume that there will be a gap between the fulfilment of one want and the spotting of another which will provide a lot of space which seems to give us the energy to achieve many a thing in life, unless this tutelage has taken place. Then only it will dawn that the source of happiness or unhappiness is we ourselves.
I hope now there is at least a lead to answers to this question, I don’t know! Unless that is undertaken it may be very late to becoming aware of – the answer to my happiness lies in myself..
P. S – The link to You-tube provided in the blog does not seem to work anymore!
May 6, 2017 at 1:49 am
I will look into the link part.. Thank you so much..
August 15, 2016 at 9:53 am
Beautiful! Glad that I read this post. It was indeed an eye-opener for me too, I badly needed this message. Very well written, just loved the style of ur writing… simple , classy yet witty and leaves one with so many thoughts to ponder about. What a wonderful feeling it gives me after I finish reading! And thanks for adding the link of the video, it was a great food for thought.
Whether to have wants or not? What a deep understanding and a strong question you have thought of….. very true.
Hmmm…. after thinking in that perspective, i just couldn’t digest how fickle and influenced am I in attaching my happiness or unhappiness to the number of wants fulfilled or not . Great insights and learning from this piece of your writing. Thank you for writing it so well.
August 15, 2016 at 9:59 am
Thank you, Yashaswini.. your words truly influence me to write more..
August 13, 2016 at 7:20 pm
Nicely articulated, as usual.
I also notice, in many situations, there is a HUGE gap between understanding something and internalising something. Life changes ONLY when we internalise what we understand! The toughest challenge is here. The only solution seems to be to frequently bombard our minds with the lessons and engage in deliberate introspection more often.
August 15, 2016 at 9:58 am
Thank you..