When Samprada expressed her desire to have a tête-à-tête with me, I was excited. The second in this series of tête-à-tête. Both of us were tied up with our own lines of work and after a few attempts of trying to meet up, we finally succeeded in having this tête-à-tête. She came up with a couple of topics and the one which is the topic for this blog, was one I have had a lot of thoughts and questions on. We decided to have a free wheeling conversation on it and it truly was one!! We let each other express our views and perspectives, with no perspective being right or wrong and every thought is valid from a context perspective.

Samprada: Is it obligatory for people who are rich to give money to those who come asking for it? It maybe for a valid cause but is it obligatory?

Me: This is something I have had a question on, due to various experiences of mine. When someone is rich, we think they are duty-bound to share it with others. Why do we think they are entitled to share? They would share it with people and causes they want to share with, isn’t it? That’s because they want to or they feel the need to, not because they are duty-bound to.

Samprada: I know of a family who was approached, for them to make a donation to an organization in the NGO space. The family members refused to. Instead, they decided to donate money to a place of worship. People from the organization who had approached them, felt offended that instead of donating to them, they have chosen to donate to a place of worship. “Why would they give money to a place of worship? They should give it to the people who need it”, were the words uttered.

My question is – why shouldn’t they donate money to a place of worship? That money also maybe spent by the authorities for different contributory causes. The people who are donating the money find comfort in doing so, they find peace in their gesture, they think it is being spent on a place where people of common wavelength meet etc.  I may not be a person who goes to places of worship but from the stand point of the people donating to them, their reason seemed valid.

Me: I hear a similar question from people – why do so many people donate money to places of worship? Why can’t this money be donated to those who need it for their education or for a medical emergency? Isn’t this where the need is? I would be lying if I say that some of these questions didn’t occur to me. These are people who are rich enough to contribute to the place of worship and to people who need it for their education, to an NGO or whatever. To who they contribute to is their choice.

Samprada: Hmmm. What is the definition of rich?

Me: Isn’t the answer subjective? Who is rich to me need not be rich to you.

Samprada: You are right. For someone, I may look rich; and for me others will. Having said that, let me share what according to me is the definition of rich. It is someone having a comfortable life and able to move around with people they are comfortable with. It is having that ‘little extra’ material comfort. When a guest comes, not having the question of ‘how will I manage financially and not feel the pinch of spending?’

If I can spend based on what I can afford, I am rich. If I can give money to different people based on what I can spend, I am rich. If I perform a wedding of my family and I spend money giving employment to people, then I am giving a life to others. When I am able to do that, I am rich. Can you use the ‘little extra’ money to elevate the lives of others, which will make the other person to have something to look forward to?

Money also gives the mind space to deal with crisis. There could be times when I need money to tide over the situation. When I have that ‘little extra’ I am not additionally stressed.

Me: You don’t need to think where the next rupee is coming from, isn’t it? I get what you are saying. Not having money doesn’t come in the way of my next step of actions.

Samprada: You know what – we all need money. When we say that we don’t need much, we aren’t being truthful. If someone says that they don’t need money, they have a holier than thou attitude. Reality is that when we step out, we need money to spend – whatever the reason the expense be for.

Me: The word ‘need’ is again subjective as much as having that ‘little extra’. How much is my ‘need’ for money is different from that of others. How much is that ‘little extra’ can be different to different people. When it is different to different people, those who feel that money is not important to them, sometimes call those who think it is important as greedy. Is that insecurity calling?

Samprada: Well, half my attitude comes from my sense of security!! I have seen people working hard and earning money / wealth. If I am born into a family of people who have earned money / wealth, I am living a life of privilege. My parents worked hard and I reap the benefits. My parents have taken opportunities to make good for themselves and that may have made them rich.

Me: Adding to what you say, when I as their child maintain what is earned and earn more due to my hard work by taking on the opportunities I get, and I am called greedy, it hurts. Though sometimes I think it is wiser to tell myself, “What others say about me is none of my business.”

Samprada:  We don’t blame someone for having wealth and neither do we blame someone for not having it.

Me: Each one to their own!!! Samprada, I was one who did not believe in the power or money / wealth until a good friend of mine told me about the book – Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. It has been years since I bought this book and yet to read it completely. Some pages I read though, has had a great impact on me. That made me revisit my thought on the power of money / wealth and thereon sparked some decisions the way I handle money.

I am glad we are having this conversation now, when I understand what you say about having that little ‘extra money’. To be at the right space at the right time!!

I may not be able to spend the money all the time, without feeling the pinch of it; but if I can spend money sometimes feeling comfortable spending it and for what I think I need to spend, why not?

If I cannot be comfortable with that little ‘extra money’’, who else will be comfortable for me?

Thank you Samprada, for this enriching tête-à-tête. It was a lot of food for thought.

Samprada: Thank you for giving me the space for sharing my thoughts and for this free wheeling conversation.