A community that sometimes catches me off guard, sometimes makes me feel uncertain, sometimes makes me wonder, sometimes makes me question myself as a person of the society at large!!

The transgender community.. I am not sure if this is the appropriate term to be used, as terms keep changing based on how people within that community or those who care for that community feel about the term. I prefer to use this term as this is what is known to me.

When I am curous about a term, the first thing I do is check the meaning and make my interpretations about it.

Trans means across or beyond. *

Gender means charateristics of male or female, boy or girl, as socially constructed. These are also the norms and behaviours of male or female. *

Transgender as per this would mean, going beyond the characteristics, norms and behaviours of male or female. This could also be what the dictionary says – relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond to that person’s sex assigned at birth. The purpose of the perspective or dictionary definition is just to understand the term Transgender. Debating on this isn’t the purpose of this blog.

My first interaction with some people from this community, was when I was in my early twenties. I had come across them in the campus of a hotel in Chennai; and they were taking to asking for alms from those coming to the hotel. I saw some people making fun of them and the transgenders in turn, angrily talking to these people. The question that arose in my mind was, “If these people are what they choose to be because of the way they are made, why is everyone making fun of them?”. People making fun of the Transgenders seemed unfair, in my view. Though I keep seeing different people from this community in different places across the years, this question remains unanswered.

A few years back, I saw a Tamil talk show, anchored by a person from the Transgender community. When I saw her (I say ‘her’ because of the identification of this person to a sex that she was not assigned at birth), what struck me was her beauty and the way she carried herself. It gave me a sense of happiness to see a change in the way society looks at Transgenders, from what I saw in my twenties. While there are more transgenders making a difference to themselves and the environment they are in, it appears that we have a long way to go before we see more change.

A year back, when I had stopped at a signal, one transgender who was asking for alms approached my car. Me being me asked, “Why are you taking to begging? You seem to be physically fit, why can’t you seek a job somewhere?” Pat came the reply which even now haunts me, “Akka, if I ask you to give me a job in your house, will you?” My response was that I had someone helping me at home and hence can’t offer a job but that question was and is gut wrenching. I don’t have an answer to that question even now. One primary thought is that – she may identify herself as a girl but she would also have the strength of a man. How comfortable will I be when I am at home and this person is also working at home? Deep down I sense that there is a vulnerability about them and they can perhaps be very sensitive and dedicated; but I have no answers from myself on how comfortable I will be.

In the recent few months, at a traffic signal I pass by, I see a transgender almost everyday. When the car stops at the signal and she comes to ask for alms, I don’t give; and she would get angry with me and mutter to herself as she walks to the next car, “She will never give even a rupee and I ask her everyday. Such a miser.” One day, something made me give her some money. She then gave me a coin and told me to keep it. I told her that I don’t need any coin from her and I am not comfortable taking it. However, if she stll insists, I will not roll down my glass the next time.

A few days later, same signal, same me and same her. This time she was having a lemon which she was ready to give me and I refused to roll down the glass. She kept the lemon back in her purse and said, “I have kept it inside, can you roll the glass down? I could not but roll down the glass and tell her that she was looking beautiful, which she really was. She was actually looking resplendent. A big and wide smile broke out on her face and she gracefully did a swirl. That’s when she said that it was her birthday. Her happy smile ‘Thank you’ on hearing my wish still rings in my ears.

Just around the same time, I met a person dressed in a man’s clothes at a gathering. After a few minutes with the person, I was asked, “Don’t you see anything different in me?” I wasn’t sure how to answer the question as I did see something different but wasn’t able to put a finger onto it. This person said, “I am a man but identify myself as a woman. I haven’t had any procedures done surgically nor do I wear a saree; but people who meet me don’t talk with me beyond a couple of minutes. Thank you for spending some minutes talking with me.” This was a matter of fact statement the person made but the emotions underlying the statement almost had me in tears.

These conversations with some members of the Transgender community left me thinking..

– Transgenders are what they are because of the gender they associate with, due to their biological needs. This is beyond their control as well.

– They are different but why should they be made fun of?

– This is diversity in its own way and we as a society say that diversity should be celebrated. Why aren’t we able to do what we say, with people from this community?

– Where will these people find a job and how will they make their living, if we as a society aren’t able to accept them?

– Perhaps acceptance is happening slowly and steadily and that’s happening in small pockets. But when will a day come when many including me can say, “Yes, they are different and I feel safe and comfortable in their presence”?

  • meanings referred to in the online dictionary.