Having never traveled with my two boys by flight, when they were young, when I see parent (s) traveling by flight with their young child (ren), I have wondered how the experience is for them.  By young, I mean the ones who aren’t in their teens yet and who are possibly in their tweens or toddlers or between the toddlers and the tweens.

– Toddlers who need to be carried in the arms of the parents or placed on the trolley and wheeled around along with a bag or two

– Those who are slightly older and have a trolley or a bag of their own which they happily and proudly wheel around

– If there are two of them closer in age, then one may wheel their own baggage while one is seated in the trolley, either happily or in a grumpy mood

– If one is older in age than the other, then the situation is different

etc etc etc

The distance to be traveled with children brings with it, its own different experiences and yet another aspect to be considered; if the time zones to which one needs to travel to is different with stop overs and lay overs, the whole experience could be another ball game altogether.

– Children to be carried around especially if they are sleepy

– They may be not in a happy frame of mind with the multiple stops and time zone differences

– Carrying different kinds of food, clothes and multiple diaper changes

Seems like a lot of (t)ask.. parents may be doing it happily but just saying 🙂

On a recent looong flight journey, had the opportnuity to observe more and all I could do was look at these parents traveling with their young ones, in awe. Here are some experiences..

– Just as the boarding call was announce, one of the two children (both maybe aged less than 7 years), told the parent who was travelling alone with them for the need to use the washroom. The parent’s cry was – ‘Washroom now a? I don’t know how far away they maybe and the boarding call has been announced’. The parent quickly told the other child to be safe with the baggage they were carrying and ran quickly in a ‘hopeful’ washroom direction. When she returned to the boarding area and saw quite many people waiting, the two pronged relief on her face was so so visible – the child having used the washroom and the not missing much of the boarding 🙂

– In the flight, a couple of the aircraft bassinets had toddlers lying in it, under the eagle eyed supervision of the parent (s). If both parents were accompanying them, each taking turns to coo to the baby or just keep an eye on them or keep adjusting their blanket from time to time or carrying them around (with the pacifier in the toddler’s mouth).

– Parents who carried an inflatable footrest for a young one to keep his / her legs on, as otherwise (I guessed) the feet would dangle from the seat most of the time.. they also had an inflatable bassinet which was so well adjusted on the seat, for the younger one to sleep in. With it they had carried their own pump to inflate both the footrest and the bassinet, which they deflated and packed, before they deboarded the plane. If this wasn’t enough, each of the young ones had their own soft toys with them, either in their hand or in the bassinet – a cute looking dolphin and a raggedy but so so cute looking teddy. Added to it were many many little and packed packets of cakes and biscuits and food for the young ones

– A 3 or 4- year old child who was crying most of the looong journey. There would be an hour or two when the child would be quiet and then the cry would resume.  Seated a couple of rows ahead, I could hear the parents talking to the child to help the child quieten but it didn’t appear to work for them always. The cry would sometimes be loud and sometimes soft. It isn’t always possible for a child to express what he / she is experiencing which is making them cry. As a parent, one has to guess and address it accordingly and in this case, it seemed that the parents were trying all that they could to help the child.

About a few hours before landing, the cry got persistent and continuous with barely a few minutes rest. The child was saying something continuously and it appeared like a two word prayer chant. We thought that the child was being told to chant the two word prayer to help him / her regulate whatever they were experiencing and to calm themselves down. This chant again would be said as a loud cry or a soft one. The  “ssshhh” by parents or them talking to the child in soft tones or a slightly older sibling very thoughtfully trying to divert the child’s attention, helped for a few seconds. After a few seconds, the cry would be back. There was no loud voice of reprimanding by the parents and at times, when we would pass by them, the smile on their face didn’t waver.

As we were deboarding, I couldn’t but say a few words in appreciation to the parents on how beautifully they handled their child’s concerns. The two words that the child was repeating wasn’t a prayer chant but the names of people the child spent time with and wanting to go back to them. The parent hearing the appreciation said “My child has had the worst episode ever. I feel sorry that this may have troubled people in the flight”.

Me being the candid me and also donning the hat of the special educator for a couple of minutes, told the parent not to be apologetic to anyone on such episodes of their child. The child is expressing thru their cry, what they were experiencing. We may not know what they are experiencing but we can understand that they are experiencing something that makes them uncomfortable. An inclusive society is built on understanding and not on apologies from parents. Children are children and if we need to envelop them with our understanding, to build an inclusive society, so we must.. The smile on the parent’s face hearing this, will stay with me forever.

A few moments later, as they were waiting for their baggage, this child was sitting on the floor quietly with one of the parents and the sibling – so calm and so smiling. Ahhhh!!

The last observation made in this blog, is an experience that reinforced the thought that while we may not understand the background of a child or a parent, it helps to understand that there is a background. Every drop counts!!! Every individual who contributes to an inclusive society is a critical cog in the wheel.