There were 3 kids playing cricket in an apartment which is close to a temple I frequent. They were also having a conversation that made me stop and listen to them.

Child 1: Both of you are children ok. I am not.

Child 2: We are not children.

Child 1: You are. I am almost a teenager.

Child 3: He is a child and we are children. We say child if it is one  and children if it is 2 ((I presume she meant singular and plural). He is one and so he is a child. We are two and so he is calling us children.

Child 1: I am not a child. I am 10 ok. I am almost a teenager. You both are children. I am playing now. You talk later.

Child 3 (suddenly screams out after a while): Hey, why are you calling him ‘idiot uncle’? (This uncle is one of the security guards who is playing with them)

Child 1: Why shouldn’t I call?

Child 3: You can’t because he is older.

Child 1: So?

Child 3: So you should respect him.

Child 1: Why should I? He also calls me ‘dustbin’.

Child 3: He won’t call like that. Uncle, you don’t call him like that no?

I could not help but smile, on hearing this conversation. Unfortunately, I had to leave from there as it was getting late for me.

As I walked back home, this conversation of theirs played constantly in my mind. Children think nothing of what they should ask and what they should not. It is just plain speaking and that’s it. Something is either right or wrong, in their view. Black or white and no shades of grey 🙂

I recall hearing this statement and question from an 10-year old, when he was asked why his grandfather was angrily complaining about him. “I just said same to you when he called me a rascal.” If you as a reader of this blog, laughed when you read this, that’s what I almost did also. When probed further, this 10-year old asked, “If I should give respect to him because he is older than me, he should also give me respect because I am a human being no?.” Valid and a fair question indeed!! Is there a valid and fair answer to that question though?

Children certainly come in different packages and when you unravel the package, what we see can surprise us..

This 8-year old girl was trying to figure out when to go and play with her friend. She was looking at the clock to understand when to play and when to return. Unusual for an eight year old to plan so much, in my view. Out comes the reason in a few minutes, “My father will come back from office at 6.30 and I need to come back by then. He does not like this girl who is my close friend and my class mate. He does not tell me why he does not like her. He just tells me that he does not like the way she looks. So I have to play with her when he is not at home.” This reason was gut wrenching to hear. A child who has her own likes and dislikes. A child who wants to just play with her friend, but are the restrictions making her look at ways and means to do things in a discrete manner, especially when she knows she is likely to get into trouble? Tough way to grow up , isn’t it?

If talking to these youngsters less than 10 years of age is one experience, talking to the ‘just entering teens and mid-teens’ is a different experience.

A bubbly, energetic and talkative 12-year old can shyly ask, “What do I do when someone from the opposite sex tells me that they like me?” Ah!! that age when you want to be liked and when someone professes their like, you don’t know how to respond :-). Tough to look poker faced with that question that is asked so so shyly. Before you can respond comes the next statement, that is said too much in a hurry to be believed “Nothing like that happened. I just wanted to know” The child is equally in a hurry to look away somewhere else 🙂

While we are on this topic, I am reminded of this conversation that I was having with three children. Two of them were 14 years old and one was 13 years. The 13-year old’s mother was also present at that time. One of the 14 year old said, “You know that there was a boy in the class who told her (the 13-year old) that he loves her.” The 13-year old was lost for words and said, “No, No, don’t say.” Well, the deed was done with and the cat was out of the bag. After a while, the upset mother asked her daughter, “Why did you not tell me this before?”. The daughter says, “Ma, this happened 6 months back and I ignored what he said . Anyway he is leaving school next year. Leave it.” The mother said, “I don’t want you to hide anything from me. I may scold you if I think you are doing something that is not right. Don’t hide anything from me, ever. If such things happen again, tell me so that I can inform your teachers about it. This is not the age for all this to happen.” The 10-year old looked at her mother and said, “Ok ma”.  I was looking at the mom and the daughter as though I was watching a tennis volley. I caught the almost imperceptible change in her expression in the nick of time, when her mother said that she will inform the teacher the next time a similar incident happens. Will the 13 year old tell her mother if a similar incident happens (especially when she knows that her mother will then inform her teacher)? That’s anybody’s guess..

There is so much to learn from children, just by being with them. Their thoughts and their emotions are laid bare. Their perspectives make you sit up and say, “Oh, this didn’t strike me!!” The way they put things across, makes you smile and laugh, not just then but until much later as well.. They are ‘Fun Unlimited’ personified!!!

We can’t remain as children all our life but can we retain the child like traits of a child, all thru our adulthood also? Well then, what are those child like traits?? Time to introspect..