It was a conversation that happened between two people, called HIMER and HERIM, on a day that was both quiet and stormy.. 


HIMER: I don’t understand why you do this all the time.


HERIM: What did I do now? Why do you have to say something about whatever I do?


HIMER: You just threw so many words now. Do you know the impact of what you said?


HERIM: I just said what I felt. Is that wrong? 


HIMER: You know what? You bottle things up for months together. Then one day, it all comes out like lava from a volcano. And it just pours, hurting people and relationships in the process.


HERIM: Ok, if that is wrong, then I will say sorry to you. Is there anyone else I need to say sorry to.. Tell me, I will tell them also.


HIMER: Oh my god!!! Do you have to start this all over again? Why do you do this bottling up?


HERIM: I cannot share everything all the time, like you do. I will hold whatever I go thru, within myself.  When I need to share, I will.


HIMER: Oh yeah? You will just blow your fuse one day and that’s it. All hell will break loose. 


HERIM: That’s better than what you do. You just blow up for everything that happens.


Most of us are either like HIMER or HERIM. We either bottle our emotions up and it bursts out one fine day; or we just blow up at every small opportunity, without much of our thought. We just give in to the need to share what we want to share, IMMEDIATELY.. either way, we end up hurting ourselves, people around us and also the relationships we hold with others.


What are we – a dormant volcano or an active volcano? Either way, people around us are always waiting with a bated breath, wondering when the volcano will burst.


Those who are like a dormant volcano (the difference between the volcano and them being that these people burst out in anger perhaps twice or thrice a year, if not more) spew words that are hot enough; the scars of which stays for a lifetime, in the person facing the wrath. It is easier for them to say, “I don’t get angry at all. I am a patient person. My threshold for anger is pretty high”.  The anger though is simmering and smouldering inside, just waiting for that let out point. One can perhaps see them smiling and going thru the motions of life in a seemingly calm manner. “Anger, what is that?” is their question. But scratch that surface a little more and there are signals that are emitted that clearly indicate, that it is better to stay away. When more such situations happen that makes them bottle up their emotions, is when the heat gets a little too much to handle and it is ready for its ‘outing’.. 


On the other hand, those who are like the active volcano, (the similarity between the volcano and them being that these people burst out frequently), spew words that are certainly hot enough. The scars though form so fast one over the other, that the person facing the wrath may just about become indifferent, after the initial hurt. They may say, “I am a straight forward person. I call a spade a spade and I don’t keep anything in mind”. They are perhaps also termed as ‘perfectionists’ expecting perfection from themselves and others.  Every situation is a potential outburst and the heat is always ready for its ‘outing’.


Whether we are a dormant or active volcano, we will end up hurting ourselves, others and our relationships as well, if we are not careful and alert. Do we always remain a dormant or an active volcano all thru our lives? Maybe and maybe not.. There are many who change their forms and there are many who retain them. 


I recall what pujya Swami Dayananda Saraswati said in one of his discourses, “Every emotion is there in each one of us, in an unmanifest state. All it needs is a trigger to get manifested”. Once it gets manifested, I am not sure if it can go back to the unmanifested state; however, there are certainly a few things that we could do which is within our control, to call for a balance between being bottling things up and breaking out way too frequently..


– share your challenging situations with people and seek help / support. Avoid thinking that you can handle it by yourself, always

– self talk, even in the bathroom, would help albeit temporarily. Avoid gritting your teeth with all the bottling up

– when you feel like blowing up and ever so frequently, ask yourself two questions. Answers to these two questions will bring in clarity – should I do it now? Can it wait?

– look at yourself in the mirror. You are the same yet different. If this what you are, why should others be any different?


Dormant or active – always remember that YOU are breaking up first and then causing damage to the others. If you DO NOT take care of yourself, NO ONE else will!!!












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