It was a trip to the UK that will be remembered by me, for many a reason. However two incidents are etched in my mind and perhaps may remain so, for a while to come. Both the incidents had me gripped in fear and had me wondering whether life would be the same again, in the case of any eventualities. My hands and body still shake as I type out this blog 🙂

We (A friend of mine and I) had set out on a trail in this place called Castleton in Peak District. A trail that was said to be a beautiful one. This winds its way up to Mam Tor, or the shivering mountain (1696 ft hill according to wikipedia). My friend being the trekker that she is, seemed to climb with ease while I was oscillating between struggle and ease. The initial walk was on roads and it was relatively easy. Then the climb started. As we started to climb, I saw clear water tricking down the trail. My feet had to be kept carefully as I was not wearing trekking shoes. The walking shoes I was wearing have small pores, that would let the water into my shoes, if I wasn’t careful enough. There was just once that I was in a bit of a hurry and dush!!! a little water went into my shoes and wet my socks ever so lightly. I then became more careful.

Climbing up the trail was not easy but it was not difficult either (in hindsight :-)). I would climb for a few minutes and then take a few moments to gather myself. The climb hence took longer. It was fun though, because at different points I had to stop to talk and pep myself up and say “Malathy, you can go up a bit more, a bit more and a bit more”. There were times when I wanted to just give it up.  Every time I would look up though, the step up would seem doable. So I stepped up and up and up, with some prodding from my friend too. At one point when I looked for her and called out to her, she was not responding. Well, it was just me, the step ahead, the scenery around and the chillness in the air :-). It certainly was a wonderful feeling. We did not go to the peak of Mam Tor, as I felt that I had climbed what I could, and nothing more could I do. It was great to feel that sense of achievement for what I thought I may not be able to do, but I did!!

Well, now that the nice part is over, here is the not nice one. We climbed down from a different side, as we saw others also taking that path. As we went down. the water trickling down had made the soil slippery. There was grass on one side of the trail whereas the other side was more of a decline, and could get one sliding down. How far will one slide down, I don’t know and did not want to see also. My friend went ahead of me and I am sure the way she was treading was different from mine. Why am I saying so? Because I slipped and fell right in that slushy marsh, not once but twice. First time it was a light fall and I was able to push myself to get up, though it was a difficult task given the slipperiness. The second time I sat in that slush with a loud thud. I was initially scared that some bone would have broken. Imagination was at work on how I would be able to move from this remote and uninhabited area. With help from my friend, I roused myself up, slipping a little more in the process. Clothes, backpack,  shoes and socks wet at different places with all that slush. Fear of rolling over, fear of getting hurt and fear of anything else happening, made me zone out, dulling away the enjoyment for a wee little while. This did cause some imbalance at different steps, especially if I tried looking at any other place, except the step ahead. Made me think of how people stand in deep waters and areas to take selfies, not realising the danger of any imbalance created. The falls did cause pain at different times thru the walk accompanied by immense anxiety and apprehension. However,  it also made me more careful of every step I took. It certainly though felt good to walk back to board the bus, in all that dusted, dried and mud caked attire, despite the falls and fears 🙂

The second incident happened, when I was standing in the line of a railway station’s information counter. I was standing at the start of the queue and was waiting for one of the counters to get empty. Behind me was a gentleman and there was no one after that. A couple walked into the area and as they were about to join the line, a wiry lady just darted across them and stood before them in the queue. That dart caught the corner of my eye and I turned behind. Just then, the lady (among the couple) asked her why she is cutting the line. That’s it. The wiry lady took off asking her “What did you say? What am I doing? You want a drink?” That last word, made me look at her keenly. I saw that she was holding a large bottle of some alcohol which was half full (or half empty). This made the gentleman (among the couple) irate. He told the wiry lady that she could have asked to be excused and sought permission to cut the line. The wiry lady got really furious. She did a complete turn towards the couple and asked them, “What did you say? What am I doing? You want a drink?”. The gentleman retorted and the wiry lady was with the same questions again. By then things were getting really out of control. More people were queuing up but no one (including me) mustered courage to intervene. I was just hoping that the gentleman would not retort and infuriate the wiry lady more. I decided to turn towards the counter waiting for my turn next. I suddenly heard the ‘clink’ sound of the bottle hitting on something. This sound jolted me out of my preoccupied state. I turned around and saw that she had kept the bottle with a thud on some stand there, uncorked the bottle and just flung the drink toward the couple standing behind her. The drink splashed in a semi circle in front of them and splashed on their dress as well. She looked at them and with an aggressive stance and tone said, “Oh!! “What did you say? What am I doing? I am not sorry. You have a problem?”. All the violent shootings and killings that I have read about in the papers flashed in my mind; along with the question I asked myself, “Looking at her wiry state, one may not expect this intensity of aggression from her. Where is this coming from?”

I was within a feet distance from her and within her radius, if she chose to do anything violent. Fear just gripped me. Fortunately for me, my turn was called. Just as I stepped to the counter, she came and stood a feet away from me. My fear increased. I stepped back reflexively from the counter, to make way for her. Poor lady!! She did not even see me doing that. She still stood in the same place and said the same thing, “It said position 4 please.” (NOTE: Position 4 means person / counter 4). When the gentleman at the counter asked her why she came forward she said, “It said position 4 please.” He told her to step back to stand in the queue, and she gave the same answer  “It said position 4 please.” He had to tell her to either stand in the queue or be removed from the premises. Then she moved back to the queue. One thing is to be in an inebriated state and the other is to be in a furious state; Together and at the same time, it can prove to be dangerous for everyone around, including the person who is in those states. Whatever made her drive herself to this state, it was painful to watch that lady. She has left herself so vulnerable and so angry!!!

This entire unfolding of the situation took all of 10 or more minutes. Every second of this, I was in tenterhooks. Be it whether I am the protagonist in the situation and what happens to me affects me; or someone else is the protagonist and what they do affects me, ultimately I am the one affected. Tough to handle and tough not to feel the impact of it. Though I sometimes feel that it is better off to just sit back, see and feel the impact the situations have had, WITH NO analysis!!!