It was an interesting few statements I heard someone saying – the way we drive is a reflection of the person we are.. the decisions we make while driving is an indicator of our thought process.. those journeying with us in the vehicle will make their own assumptions based on what they read of our actions but most important is what we read of ourselves.

If these statements are about those who drive, what of those who don’t, I asked – Well, they surely drive situations and people isn’t it, they could reflect on that, came the answer.. Valid point indeed!!!

Whether we drive vehicles or people or situations, reflecting certainly helps!!

Some of the incidents / statements quoted in this blog is from the times of my driving my vehicle. These statements certainly helped me reflect and in a way draw a parallel to the person I am or the decisions I may take.

Years back, a friend of mine who had come from Chennai saw me driving into a space between the pavement  and a bus that was waiting for the signal to turn green. There was enough space for the car to be driven into the space (in my view). For him, it didn’t seem so. He said, “Ayyo, you are driving like someone who drives an auto and you are driving into the space just like that.  Remember this is a car.” I couldn’t but smile at this statement because there was enough space between the pavement and the bus, for the car to go in comfortably; and I took that as a compliment rather than a rebuke. At the time of taking a decision sometimes, I may be the only person in the picture. Whetever decision that needs to be taken is done keeping known factors in mind. It may seem like a road less traveled but I think it is worth the travel and take it. When I see the outcome of the decision, I may facepalm some times and I may pat myself in my back in some other times. Sometimes, the road less traveled appears lonely but worth the learning and joy it gives!!

I have done a lot of chauffering over the years – driving the children to classes, driving myself and people around; and sometimes doing a pick up and drop from and to the station. During one such ride, I was asked by the person who I was picking up on why I was driving slowly and at the rate at which I was driving, I would reach home only the next morning (It was about 9.30 pm at this time with my home being half an hour away from where we were).. What an exaggeration, was my first thought, when I heard this statement!! She went on to say that if it was her, she would have not let so many people pass by and would have shouted at the person who was cutting the lane or driving erratically; and asked why I couldn’t overtake other vehicles. So many statements and questions, which I recall I didn’t respond to. Those were the days when Google Maps wasn’t there and if the one who drives didn’t know the route, one would stop by to ask someone for help in directions. That was a route I wasn’t familiar with and when such is the case, I don’t engage in much conversation.  These statements and questions did the rounds in my minds from quite a few months and stays on till now :-).

For me, life isn’t a competition. It needs to be lived. Running faster than someone else, reaching the winning post first, isn’t a matter.. I would rather live at my pace, space and time.

If a person breaks rules and puts others lives at risk, I may question them if I happen to have that time with them. But when they move on from that time and place and if they had an almost run in with my car, I may at best spew a few words but shouting at them and having a rage isn’t my cup of tea. Needless to say, it may eat my mind for a while and there is that helpless feeling that leads to frustration. Stephen Covey’s – work on your circle of influence and not on your circle of concern, became and continues to be one of my mantras.

This incident always brings a smile on my face, as it involves someone who is special to me in his own way. This happened almost 14 years back and this young lad all of 14, was from Germany and was a part of the exchange program my younger one was also in. He was staying with us for a couple of weeks or so. During one of our trips where I had to drive them to, he asked me if I generally don’t honk or because he was with us in the car, I didn’t honk. Him coming from a culture and rule of honking ONLY when absolutely needed, I could understand his question. I told him that I generally don’t honk and if I do, it is when I take a turn because that’s what I have been taught; or when someone takes a turn from the wrong side or comes driving opposite the traffic movement. I also told him that sometimes I keep in mind the person who is journeying with me, when I act on something.

His question made me reflect. Making a noise is something that I find hard and honking is noise. I would rather honk and make a noise when needed and not otherwise. However, as the years rolled by I realised that to make myself visible, I needed to make a noise. Making a noise isn’t always bad because only when I make that noise or honk, people know that I am waiting.. that I have an opinion.. that I am conveying something.. that I need to move on as well..

While I still prefer not to honk and make a noise most times, I am learning to make one as and when I think I need to; and at the same time, using the power of silence to convey what it needs to..

There are many times when I am back home I think about the way I drove that day. There are times when this reflection has made me think of some of my actions in day to day life, in relation to my thoughts on my driving.

Moderating reflection is critical because too much of it could make the ride, the drive and the journey too conscious and therefore jerky..

People are who they are and it is what it is.. Accept every who for who they are and every it for what it is..

Life then can be a joyful ride indeed!!