‘A Value is a Value only when the Value of the Value is Valuable to ME’.
A value
– is what we consider important to us, for a particular reason.
– is close to our heart.
There are certain values that are followed by everyone across the world, called Universal Values. Values which require no education and appears as common sense to everyone – For example – the values of being honest, not causing hurt, speaking the truth, to name a few. None of us need to be educated on these values and each one of us know the importance of these values in our lives and in that of the others.
Taking one Universal Value to extrapolate on.. the value of not causing hurt..
As individuals, we may behave in any of the following ways:
– We may be particular that we should not cause hurt to others and others should not cause hurt to us.
– We may know the value of not causing hurt; and will more often than not expect others also to not cause hurt to us. However, we may not follow this value all the time.
– We are aware that though not causing hurt to others is a value we hold close to our heart, there are times when what we say will cause hurt to another. We will choose our words carefully to cause minimal hurt. However, when we cause hurt to another even minimally, it does make us feel guilty and creates conflicts within ourselves. This does not though in any way dilute the value of the value that we hold close to our heart. We will ensure that we live this value consciously.
How we have assimilated Values determine whether they are partially assimilated or fully assimilated.
Partially assimilated – We expect others to not cause hurt to us; but we are not able to follow that value because of another personal desire that we need to achieve.
For example – We want our child to study for the next two hours. If the child refuses, we may try to coax and cajole them to do what we want them to do. If they still resist, in order to make them listen to us, we use words or raise hands on them that causes hurt to them. We want our child to do what we want them to do and when they don’t do, we take an action that causes hurt to them. It is partially assimilated a value as we expect others not to hurt us; but we do not follow the same.
Fully assimilated – We want others not to cause hurt to us and we have been told right from our childhood not to cause hurt to others and we follow it consciously. When others say something to us that causes hurt, we feel uncomfortable. The value of not causing hurt is clear to us, with reference to ourselves and others.
Each one of us have our own values, some of them partially assimilated while some are fully assimilated. There are times however when a partially assimilated value and a fully assimilated value are in conflict with one another.
For example – not causing hurt to the others is a fully assimilated value while telling the truth is a partially assimilated value. While driving the car, we skip the traffic signal (which had just then turned red) and dash into another vehicle coming from another direction. We are stopped by the person driving the other car and also the policeman. We know that we have caused hurt to the other person by dashing into their car; but we also know that telling the truth that we skipped the signal will land us in a big trouble. We are aware that there is more loss than gain by telling the truth.
Which value will we hold at that time? In many cases, we might settle and go by the partially assimilated value of truth. We may not be able to understand in what way we are going to gain by telling the truth. The conscience nags us to tell the truth. When we don’t tell the truth, a feeling of guilt and conflict seeps in and this brings in a discomfort; this also comes from our helplessness of not following our fully assimilated value.
This is also where the Knower – Doer split comes in, which disrupts the harmony within oneself. We ‘know’ that we are not telling the truth. The knower knows that it is not good to tell a lie and the Doer does what is not right – that of telling a lie. This leads to guilt, conflict, frustration, irritation and many more such feelings.
Can we be comfortable when we are riddled with the feeling of guilt?
Can we do away with the feeling of guilt?
How does staying with a partially assimilated value impact our emotional balance, especially when it is in conflict with a fully assimilated value?
Beautifully put is the saying that ‘the Knower and the Doer need to be ‘Together”, which brings in harmony in an individual.
We always have more than one choice ahead of us, in any situation. We need to be clear on the decision that we make between the two choices ahead of us. When we understand that one of the choices is going to bring in discomfort to us, we drop that choice :-).
If not causing hurt to others is a value for us and we know that causing hurt to others is going to hurt us too, we then have only ONE choice – that of not causing hurt to others. This ONE choice when taken a few times, becomes fully assimilated value. Not causing hurt to the others is a value that will require no thinking, when we are in any situation. This gives us comfort and creates a harmony within ourselves. It will then become easier for us to bring in the application of the Universal Values in my life, as fully assimilated values.
When one lives a life of fully assimilated Values, learning happens.
There are 20 values that are enumerated in Chapter 13 of the Bhagavad GItA that are required for the mind to be prepared, for the learning to happen.
‘What’ are the Values and ‘How’ they will help the mind to be prepared for the learning to happen, will be the focus of the forthcoming blogs in this series.
May 2, 2017 at 4:43 am
The goal towards True knowledge Realisation (TaTva JnAnArTha DarSanam) or Enlightenment is categorically stated as possible only by imbibing an excellent attribute bunch of Twenty is what is enumerated in the 13th Chapter of BhagavaTgITA. Whatever is contrary and opposed to this bunch of Twenty is to be considered ignorance or nescience.
It is not only the mind preparation for focusing, but also the orientation of the intellect to analyse and finally the poise of the Inner-self itself to co-ordinate both the mind and intellect in order to take a decision. In other words, ‘manas’ (mind), ‘Buddhi’ (intellect) are the application and system softwares through which the Hardware of body is properly engaged/initiated to execute the acquisition of the Ultimate.
This is as far as getting that most valuable JnAna- the knowledge why we are here, how we are here and whose object we are expected to serve in conducting the affairs of this universe.
But if that is told blatantly so, it is possible many, whose bent of mind is more on the acquisition of worldly knowledge of physical sciences (analysing matter and energy around) may rather consider that as far-fetched and metaphysical. In fact, the major portion of the masses will also tend to be on that poise only!
The retention of that physical sciences knowledge and recalling them when needed obviously therefore may not need that kind of elaborate preparedness, which is certainly required for AtmagYAna, which if acquired then the knowledge related to physical sciences, a subset of that Great knowledge itself is automatic and need not be attempted separately. That is why we call the SanATanadharma approach to knowledge as a ‘Top-down approach’, while the approach by physical scientists as ‘Bottom up’ to hopefully culminate into that ultimate knowledge from an elementary analysis of matter around! For them it is enough if they have the drive to engage themselves and regard towards what has been achieved by their predecessors so far.
We, being brought up in this “practical-virtuous-country” (kaRma/PuNya-bhoomi) are at least having this awareness, though not yet knowledgeable on either (?!)