NOTE: The situations are given in the normal font and my perspectives and learning from the situations read in this epic, appears in bold.  

One incident that played out in the battle front, that was an inspiration and a source of a BIG learning..

Ravana stands helpless in the battlefield, attacked by the arrows shot by Rama and the boulders flung by the monkey army. Seeing Ravana’s inability and confusion to fight this onslaught, his charioteer veered the chariot away and out of the battlefield. This action of the charioteer angered Ravana no bounds.

– Isn’t this what we many of us do many times, when we see others facing a difficulty and are looking helpless? Especially when the others are those, who are important to us? 

 – Don’t we take a decision for others, based on what we think is right? 

 – Do they always like what we have decided upon?

Ravana in all his fury asks the charioteer if he took the decision to veer and move out of the battle field, thinking that he (Ravana) is

  • weak (less strong)
  • less brave
  • a coward (here there seems to be a difference – less brave does NOT seem to be the same as being cowardly)
  • less mindful and
  • unable to handle weapons

Ravana asks his charioteer why he took him away from battlefield without consulting him, and thereby insulting him. He also tells him that in a moment he has destroyed the faith he had in his own valour, his ability to fight in a war and the goodwill that he had built over many many years..

Ravana also tells his charioteer that in the eyes of his enemy who is immensely able and looking forward to the battle, it has now made him look like a coward. That if he (the charioteer)  had thought well for him, he would not have done such an act. He goes on to say that the charioteer has forgotten all the benefits that he has availed, from being with him.

Strong words indeed, that Ravana mouthed!!!

– How do we  feel when others take a decision for us, and without discussing with us / consulting us? More than discussing with us, the fact that we have not been consulted on it, is what irks us. When we have been consulted, we feel that our opinions have been sought and paid heed to. This is our ego seeking? or is it our self respect seeking? or perhaps both seeking? 

– The want to say “Hello, please don’t take decisions for me. It makes me feel as though I am incapable of taking decisions / I cannot act in a way that I need to / I am helpless. I am capable though of handling my life myself. If I need your help I will ask you,” many times occurs to us. We may express it or we may not. That perhaps depends on the courage that we muster to express.. And if we do, it may or may not be as strong  as Ravana’s way of expressing 🙂

The charioteer who respected Ravana deeply said with humility that

– he had not forgotten what he had gained from being with Ravana and that he was not disloyal

– he was neither fearful of his enemies nor did they pull him to their side nor was he confused

– the decision that he took was based on the respect, love and the need to keep the fame of Ravana flying high, though the decision was not liked by Ravana..

He also went on to say that he

– saw Ravana appearing both tired and strong one after another, both physically and mentally and without his usual valour

– found that the horses tired

– felt ominous signs that denoted failures for them

– as a charioteer, he had to be alert to notice all of the above

– had to also keep a keen eye on the feel of the battle field on which the chariot rides, the ups and down in the battle field, the limitations of the enemy and also the right moment to strike the enemy

– in addition, a charioteer had to decide when to move the chariot forward and when to pull it backward

– had to move out of the battlefield to give tired Ravana and horses, a respite

– he carefully weight the options and took a decision, based on the need of the hour..

Hearing what the charioteer said, Ravana was thrilled and got energised. He then asked his charioteer to take him back to the battle field.

There are perhaps many situations in which we take decision for others.

– What makes us take a decision for others, without consulting them, let alone discussing with them? Though we may have weighed many options consciously or unconsciously before we took a decision..

– Is it because there is no time to discuss let alone consult, given the need of the hour to take a decision, as any delay could cause an irreparable damage?

– Do the others come and vent their anger at us, for having taken a decision for them, without their askance? And when they do in a fury or otherwise, do we take time to share with them calmly and in a mature manner, what drove us to take a decision without discussing / consulting them?

– Assuming that they don’t take us wrong for making a decision for them, do we still spend time explaining to them on why we did what we did?

Personally, I am aware that I have taken decisions for others without consulting them; and faced the ramifications of it immediately or sometime after. I have been told that I should have consulted / discussed with them, before taking the decision for them.. and that it is preferable to mind my business and take decisions for myself, and not for others. Did I share / explain to them on why I did what I did? Sometimes yes and sometimes no.. When I explained, some understood and some did not.. I always wondered why some people were so angry, when I only did something to help them out.. Little did I realise that they have their own needs and feelings, which maybe in contrast to what I think and feel.. What did I intrude on – their ego or their self respect?

When I read the charioteer’s explanation to Ravana, on why he did what he did, I cannot help but be inspired by the way he went about clarifying his decision.. Reinforcing the fact that ‘what is done is more important that who did it’ (I decided to tweak the saying of ‘what is said is more important than who is saying it’) and the criticality of articulating our action, in the way that it needs to be understood..