Perhaps one of the important situations in the Ramayana, which also is a turning point in its own way. I have heard a lot about this situation but did not know the words that were used, to change a person’s thinking and thereon their action. The way it looks now, this alone will perhaps be this chapter 🙂

Mandarai is Kaikeyi’s help. Her background is not known except for the fact that when Kaikeyi got married to Dasaratha and came to Ayodhya, Kaikeyi’s father got her to accompany Kaikeyi.

Kaikeyi was in her quarters resting and has no clue about the coronation of Rama as the Prince of Ayodhya. Mandarai happens to see the flurry of activity in preparation of the kingdom of Ayodhya, and enquires about t. When she comes to know of the coronation, she is furious and comes rushing to Kaikeyi’s quarters. What happens next is a tirade from Mandarai to Kaikeyi, with the latter intervening to disagree with her. The disagreement though is short lived. So what DID Mandarai say and HOW did she put it?

Mandarai starts off by saying how danger is around the corner for Kaikeyi and how she needs to wake up to it immediately; and how this danger is present despite Kaikeyi being proud of the fact, that she is the favorite amongst his three wives.

She then talks about Rama’s proposed coronation and how this will bring sorrow to kaikeyi. Of how Kaikeyi has been innocent and naive and hence cheated by Dasaratha. She also speaks of Dasaratha being unfair to kaikeyi and also intelligent enough to sent Bharata away for a few days, and conduct the coronation ceremony at that time. She advises Kaikeyi to stop the coronation from happening.

Kaikeyi attempts her first disagreement by telling Mandarai how affectionate Rama is to her and how she is delighted to hear of the coronation (The way the situation unfolds, it is also evident that Kaikeyi does not get firsthand information from the palace or the other wives. She gets to hear it from Mandarai first).  She also offers to give Mandarai whatever she wants, given her delighted state.

This only fuels Mandarai’s anger and her tirade continues. She now moves on to how Kaikeyi is foolish enough to feel happy over the other wife’s son. This will make Rama’s mother Kousalya to rule over Kaikeyi, which will make the latter a slave under Kousalya; and given that Kaikeyi has insulted Kousalya a few times because Dasaratha is fond of her (Kaikeyi) more than the other two wives, Rama’s coronation will make Kousalya to take her revenge. She also mentions of how Rama is far more superior in education, wisdom and in ruling the kingdom well. So if Kaikeyi becomes a slave to Kousalya, Bharata will also become a slave to Rama; and this will affect the way Bharata views Kaikeyi.

Kaikeyi attempts her second argument wherein she talks about the virtues of Rama. She also talks about Bharata becoming the ruler after Rama’s tenure. She again mentions of Rama’s affection towards her, which is more than the affection he has towards his mother.

Mandarai’s tirade intensifies and what she says has the impact she wanted to see in Kaikeyi. She says that only the person who is the most exalted amongst the princes will rule the kingdom, and for that only Rama qualifies. Rama then will send Bharata in exile to make sure that there is no threat to his rule. After Rama, his sons will rule the kingdom and not Bharata. She pleads with Kaikeyi to fight for Bharata to be made the prince who will rule the kingdom after Dasaratha. She also makes an important point here that Kaikeyi is supporting Rama only because Bharata is not present; and if he was physically present, her approach towards the situation would be different.

When she ends her tirade, Kaikeyi succumbs to it and asks Mandarai to advice her on what she should do..

As I read this, I found this to be powerfully articulated by Mandarai – powerful choice of words, delivery is intense and given the choice of words, it also gives an indication to the pitch and modulation that may have been used. Other than saying that her intentions are not right, there is not much to give reasons for her dislike towards Dasaratha or Rama or Kousalya. Whatever her reasons maybe for Bharata to be coronated and Kaikeyi to become the queen mother, her articulation is deliberate and well thought of.. Crafty? Sly? Manipulative? Mandarai maybe all of those but the way she goes about convincing Kaikeyi to change her thinking is just amazing. I have heard people saying “It is not what is said that matters but what the person who matters says.” In this case, I think what was said, who said it and how it was said, all the three mattered.

I saw a structure that Mandarai may have followed in her articulation. A structure that gives a window for practicing, though  one may want to change the sequence, as appropriate..

– Mention the danger that is ahead  – this may help the listener to sit up and pay attention

– Avoid mentioning a sensitive aspect to start with, lest the situation boomerangs

– State the impact on the future and the pitfalls, if one does not stand up to fight for his / her rights

– Mention the unfairness of the current situation, on the person

– Stress on how people in the close circle will be affected, if one does not stand up for oneself

– Be conscious to elaborate on the good points of the person that the listener is close to, and from whom the listener needs to be weaned away from; while at the same time elaborate on how the same person can be a detrimental factor

– Usage of the right choice of words, the right pitch and modulation and at the right time

Influencing another person’s thinking, requires one to have knowledge on ‘what’ will make the other person think and act. This requires one to spend time knowing the other person, what makes them tick or what disables the tick 🙂

This has been a different chapter, with just one situation and a perspective of day to day living, keeping that situation in mind. This seems to be unfolding differently from what I had anticipated it to. I guess it is preferable to NOT anticipate and just write as it flows..