A request and a disclaimer: Before you begin to read this blog, request you to first read the 3 parts of ‘Stroke in the canvas called ‘The Value of Values’. You may also choose to read the blogs on the values of amAnitvam, adambhitvam and ahimsA (the value of ahimsA is in three parts) kshAntiH, ArjavamAchAryopAsanamSaucamSthairyam and AtmavinigrahaH though they are not a prerequisite to reading this value. The language and explanations used by pUjya swAmiji is so profound, that I wish I do justice by aligning my understanding to his explanation, as I parallelly try to relate it to day to day living.. Any error in the way I have blogged upon these values, is due to an error in my understanding alone.

Indriya means sense organ, artha stands for object and vairAgyA is dispassion. IndriyArthesu (the ‘su’ pronounced as ‘shu’) vairAgyam means dispassion (rAgA is desire and the prefix vi meaning lack of) towards objects of the sense organs – objects which are what we can see, hear, feel, touch and smell. That literally means dispassion towards everything in life!!!

It is an interesting dimension to the word desire which pujya swAmiji says is neither a preference nor something that is fancied. It means craving or longing for something and the state of mind of one who is free from craving or longing, is called dispassion.

This also makes me want to break the prefix ‘dis’ from the root word ‘passion’. When I do this what seemed overwhelming when I read the word dispassionate, suddenly seems possible. It does become easy when it is broken into chunks. But that’s how it is in many aspects of life, isn’t it? Break aspects into chunks and many an aspect seems doable 🙂

– What exactly does dispassionate mean? Is it getting rid of desires? Is it doing away with them? Is it suppressing the desires?

– Can we suppress a desire and live comfortable, without an increase in the craving? Can the mind be overpowered enough to suppress what it craves for?

– Does the mind crave or do the sense organs crave?

– Is it possible to gain this sense of dispassion? If yes, how?

As human beings, we all have our own desires. We want to achieve something and if we don’t, there is a sense of being unfulfilled.. we think what we have is not enough leaving us with a sense of inadequacy… the more we have, the more we want and this gives us a sense of insecurity.. So is there something wrong in wanting something? Isn’t that what this life pursuit is all about? I am not sure if there is a right or wrong about this want of adequacy or security or fulfillment, but what seems a mismatch is when we think or happiness lies in the objects we think gives us security, adequacy and fulfillment.

What is it that we constantly pursue in life? Security and pleasure – security in the form of power, wealth, assets etc., and pleasure in the form of objects that give us happiness which could also be power, wealth, assets etc., While these 2 are mutually exclusive, they also seem to be related to one another. What gives us a sense of security can also give us a sense of happiness and vice versa.  When we feel secure, we are happy and when we have what gives us pleasure, we are needless to say, happy. So this is also what life is all about, isn’t it? To feel a sense of security and pleasure. So where is the catch then?

The catch is that even when we gain what we think gives a sense of security and pleasure, it does not satiate us. We want more and so we seek more. Then we get tired of what we have and so we go in search of something else that we think gives us happiness.

We want power. So we create wealth as that gives us a sense of power, security and adequacy. But we may not yet reach the state of fulfillment because there is still a sense of insecurity, inadequacy and incompleteness that we feel. So we look for something that will fulfill that sense of insecurity and inadequacy.  And so the search goes on and on.

We drop something to gain something else.  We keep aside time spent with family to gain professional growth, we lose relationships.. we control our eating habits and exercise more to keep ourselves fit and healthy, we spend time and effort but gain confidence.. we can keep adding to this list..

What is desired by others is not desired by us or vice versa.. In a family, while one of us want to visit places, the other wants to stay at home.. Amongst friends, one wants people always around while another wants to be alone and with themselves..

What we desire today, we may not want a little while later..  We want to start our own business and be an entrepreneur but a year or two later, we understand that we are unable to handle the business and so we want to give it up..

Which means that what we desire is subject to change.. Which brings me back to one question and one that I have always had – should we desire at all? Is having a desire wrong?

The answer to this question is given so succinctly and beautifully.. It is not the desire that brings us disappointment, frustration or anger. It is the value that we attach to that desire, an expectation from that value that is the cause of the disappointment, anger or frustration. For eg., we have rendered help to someone and they have benefited from the help. If we place a great value on what we have done as a help, we also expect reciprocity from them in terms of being grateful to us or in terms of giving us help when we need it. When the reciprocity is not seen by us or when we don’t think we are getting the help that we expected, it gives rise to disappointment. This can be extrapolated to many of the desires that we have and the value that we place on them.

‘Desire is a privilege’ but it has its limitations when we attribute our happiness to it. Any desire that we have is subject to change, over time. Being passionate about our desires hence also does not deem to be preferable…

How then do we help ourselves to be dispassionate? Big term, but what are the steps to achieve it?

– Attach NO value to a desire, thereby minimising the sense of security and pleasure that we may get, by attaining the desire

– Evaluate desires. This is where the questions of ‘what?’ and ‘so what?’ come into picture. For eg., if we want to own a house, let’s ask ourselves these questions. ‘What’ if I own a house? ‘So what’ I don’t own a house? A sense of objectivity does set in when we ask the ‘what?’ and ‘so what?’ questions

– Understand that what we gain thru security and pleasure keeps changing, and all these being inconstant as they are. the sense of security, adequacy, fulfillment or completeness gaining each one of these gives, is short lived

– Treat objects as objects and this could mean people, money, power etc.. Every one of these is subject to change and loss. Appreciate them for what they are but DON’T project YOUR happiness on them

– Being dispassionate is NOT suppressing desires BUT intelligently evaluating desires

As I write this blog, some questions of mine are answered while some more spring up. One question that keeps lingering is “If I develop a dispassion towards objects of security and pleasure, will I stop enjoying my life?” I have no clear cut answer but all I feel is that “If I don’t handle the passion I have for objects of security and pleasure, they will handle me.” 🙂