It is amazing how one theatre play can change how you look at situations and contexts..

When an unexpected opportunity came my way to watch a play titled ‘The Father’ that had Naseeruddin Shah as the protagonist, I took it up with barely any thought.. I did read up a bit on what the play was all about but nothing really prepared me for the actual one. Essaying the role of an elderly man with Alzheimer’s, he, the rest of the cast and the underlying topic left a deep impact in me indeed!! I have seen a few movies where he has been casted in, but seeing him in the flesh as someone who looks so distinguished and who has got into the character of the role that he plays with such finesse, is something to be experienced. Being a play that this is, there are theatrical elements that give it that exaggerated touch but that is but natural and those exaggerations need to be overlooked, to get the essence of the play..

How does one even understand a person (s) with Alzheimer’s? This play may have been just one sample of one person, but some thoughts just linger on.. For the purpose of this blog, I have all thru said ‘The person’ which refers to a person with Alzheimer’s, as I am not sure how much this can be generalised to all others who have Alzheimer’s.

There seem to be layers and layers of the mind that get opened and closed in them, every moment. Gosh!!! So many memories we all carry of our lives in that seemingly little organ called our brain? or rather is it in the mind which is there in us, can’t be seen but much talked about!!

Is something forgotten in the person with Alzheimer’s? That’s what we think and it is suddenly remembered..

Does the person really have a memory loss? That’s what we think and suddenly they seem to remember something with alarming clarity.. That remembrance is what makes it that much more difficult to believe that memory loss..

The person searches for the right word to use and it just seems to hang in there, not accessible.. The search is so evident that after a few seconds of that search and that fumble for the right word, there is a sudden switch in the talk and the talk loses its relevance.. Oof, a few scenes from this play on this just stumped me..

The person seem to be here and now mentally, and suddenly they are gone.. Gone where? Gone in a whizz to the past, to an incident, to a person, to an experience.. And there is no way that those of us with all faculties intact can travel in that speed.. There is no thought of the future in them.. There seems to be no feeling of insecurity of ‘What would happen to me in the future?’ Simply put, the future is just not there for them (No pun intended)

There is an unexpressed frustration in the person that leads to anger.. There are shades and shades of helplessness.. the ‘here it is and there it is gone consciousness of themselves’, hits you hard.. If the person was one who was independent and strong minded, one’s stomach just lurches to see their helplessness and their instantaneous travel to the past and the present and so seamlessly too.. How much of pressure would all this have on the person, though we may not see it tangibly? So much in the mind that they forget who they are and who people around them are, so much so that the disbelieving, shocked and grieved look of the close family when that thought of “This person with Alzheimer’s doesn’t remember ME?”

The disease is progressive that the person has inadequate cognition of one’s own self as times go by.. There are child like traits that brings a smile and a childishness that can be annoying, especially to the caregiver..

Some scenes left me with many questions..

  • Is a person with Alzheimer’s obsessed with a thing or a person that they are close to? So much so that they frequently talk about it?
  • If they have loved and lost someone when that person was young, does that impact them so much that they constantly speak about it?
  • Are there some parts of their life that they don’t talk about at all?
  • Are there unfulfilled desires / skills that they think they are good at, which may not be true? For example in this play, Naseeruddin Shah speaks about being skilled at Tap Dancing while his daughter looks on unbelievingly
  • The responsibilities and life of the caregiver –
    • Where does it start and where does it stop?
    • How do they handle this amount of unpredictability?
    • There is so much of an amalgamation of the past and the present, the hallucinations and that whizz of the past and the present in the mind of the person with Alzheimer’s.. It is like a piano whose keys are played so fast and in an overlapping manner that they make different sounds at the same time.. Those sounds could be so jarring to the person with Alzheimer’s that they react that much fast.. and the impact of it could be even more so to the caregiver, physically and mentally.. Given this background, what does one believe and what not to, of what the people with Alzheimer’s say and do? That patience threshold of the caregiver could be put to test in many moments..
    • How much of the caregiver’s attention goes to taking care of this person that there is barely any time for them to live their life?
    • Must be really tough to ‘let go’ of the thought of taking care of a person with Alzheimer’s and say that they are better off under a full time care at a center.. What do they do when they live in a country where there are no centers that can take care of these people?
    • The caregivers need to handle the person with Alzheimer’s with a combination of firmness, strictness, compassion, and many more aspects.. Any of us seeing this handling from outside and for a few moments / few hours / few days can make our own deductions based on what we see and what we assume; and we may not even know the context of the situation.. And then we may have this tendency to give suggestions and advice to them on how they need to handle the situation.. Suddenly all this giving of free advice and suggestions seem so hollow..

When the play got over to a standing ovation, all I could feel was goosebumps and what pujya Swami Dayananda Saraswati said, “If you cannot help someone, pray for them. That is the reaching out that you could do.”