Ever since this topic for a blog occured to me, have been hearing different people sharing their experiences, relating to this topic. I haven’t spoken to them about this nor have I asked them for their experiences. It happened :-)..

It happens… why, sometimes we don’t know.. why, sometimes we know.. can we do anything about it? sometimes yes and sometimes no and sometimes may be..

Wondering what this topic all about – the rest of the blog should reveal what it is 🙂

After quite a few years of knowing and interacting with me, I had someone telling me that she disliked me almost from the word go. I was curious to know why because I had met this person just once and in a room full of people. We barely could catch a few minutes to converse. She said that after she met me, she heard a lot about me, nice things and an overdose of them. That overdose of nice things she heard about me, made her dislike me from the word go. We had to interact frequently and much that I would say would not go well with her. The more I tried to figure out and to connect, the more it worsened. It took many years of effort from both of us to to connect with each other on a positive note. I am not sure if now her dislike for me has become like; but there is a lot of respect for each other for the way we are..

This person knew why she disliked me while I wasn’t aware for many years why whatever I said did not go well with her. Given that we had to interact with each other frequently, both of us gave our efforts to connect with each other. It has reached a point with which we are both comfortable.

The next experience resonates so much with the previous experience though different in its own way.

Until a couple of years back, I have not seen any of actor Kamal Haasan’s movies, either in the theatre or on television. Why? Primarily because I have heard so many people ranting and raving about his movies and acting that I didn’t want to watch them. It was a different matter altogether that I am a die hard fan of Rajanikanth’s acting. Even today I am not keen on watching Kamal Haasan’s movies but I have grown to like what he talks, most times.

I have not met Kamal Haasan and don’t know if the reason why I haven’t watched his movies is just what I have shared; or there is something else I am not aware of. I have not put in any effort to watch his movies but over the years, with age bringing its own changes in me, I have grown to respect his body of work and much of what he speaks.

It is always a wonder how our likes and dislikes happen within us. The reasons are so unique to each one of us and it doesn’t need to be accepted or validated by others. If a relationship is important to us, more often than not we put in effort to make the connect happen. Sometimes the connect happens and sometimes it doesn’t and whichever way it is, what matters is is the effort. The connect isn’t in our hands.

I was with friend A and we had gone visiting the homes of a couple of friends. We went to friend B’s home and spent some time there and later with her accompanying us, we went to friend C’s home in the same apartment block. A few minutes later in friend C’s home, friend A said, “I hope no one minds what I am saying – though C’s home is relatively smaller that B’s home, there is so much energy in C’s home that I want to sit for some more time here.” Oops, There was that eerie silence for a few minutes after that.

Some days later when I asked friend A why she said what she did, she said that she felt like saying it and that’s it. She also said that the energy in friend C’s home was so inviting that she wanted to just be in that energy space for more time.

House is an inanimate object and I don’t have enough knowledge on this aspect to say if houses by themselves can generate energy that is inviting; or if energy is what makes a house a home. However, I am aware that there are some people who generate an energy that invites us to spend more time with them, wherever they are. The factors for this could be many – the way they speak, what they speak, how they make us feel etc etc etc..

A distant relative and I had been to a function together. We were introduced to someone and after a few minutes of conversation, my relative muttered in my ears that he wasn’t comfortable with the person we were introduced to. He wasn’t able to state why and I did not probe either. After this incident, in the couple of times that I have seen them in different gatherings, I have seen my relative oozing so much unease and he will move away from this person within a few minutes. I haven’t seen this relative standing along with the person he is uneasy with, holding any polite conversation or having a smile or laugh.

Sometimes we encounter such experiences when we really don’t know why we feel uncomfortable in the presence of a person. We just feel it.

Some of us arent comfortable with that discomfort and will either move away or make a polite smiling converstaion. The one who is moving away will say that they would rather do that than stress themselves out by making a polite conversation. The one making a polite smiling conversation will say that they would rather engage in one than moving away and feeling guilty later. Each one to their own; and each own is ok.

Over the last many years I have had experiences of going to spaces where there is an instant connect or an instant disconnect.. people I meet, with whom there is an instant resonance or an instant dissonance.. More often than not, there isn’t any change in the connect and disconnect or the resonance and dissonance, in the times that pass. However, there are instances when the disconnect becomes a part connect and vice versa or the dissonance becomes part resonance or vice versa. It never is a full shift.

As much as the connect and resonance is a mystery, so is the disconnect and dissonance. The latter would cause a lot of discomfort in me, due to my need for  harmony. After a lot of working on myself, I am at a place where I am ok with the disconnect and dissonance, after putting effort to connect and resonate.

Be it connect or disconnect and resonance or dissonance, it is always like the toss of a coin. Whichever side the coin falls in, is the ok side :-)..

We are tossed in the coin called life. If life has to be lived – heads is ok, tails is ok.