MAnvi felt that there was no better person than her thAthA, to put forth the question to. She had seen him across situations and has always been in awe of the way he was, in every situation,

MAnvi: thAthA, how do you stay mentally strong?

thAthA: A differently worded question, MAnvi.

MAnvi (looking puzzled at her thAthA’s words): Why thAthA?

thAthA: Look at the word ‘stay’ in your question. You are not asking “How are you mentally strong?” in which case, you are making me different from others. You are asking “How do you stay mentally strong?”, in which case, being mentally strong is an attribute all of us have. The difference maybe is in ‘staying’ in that zone.

MAnvi was not surprised and yet surprised at her thAthA’s thinking, even though surprised, she ought not to be. Her thAthA always could read her thinking. Some connection they had!!!

MAnvi: thAthA, I believe that all of us are mentally strong in our own ways. Each one of us have been in unpleasant situations and in situations that has demanded a lot of our energy and effort mentally and emotionally. In hindsight, we would have found that we handled the situation far better than we could have expected to.

thAthA: So why the word ‘stay’, in your question, mAnvi – how do you stay mentally strong?

MAnvi: thAthA, I beleive that everyone is mentally strong and handle situations that come their way, this may last just for a few minutes. Then the emotions may fritter away leading us to display anger, anxiety and this is reflected thru’ our words or actions. To stay in that mentally strong state with as minimal disruption as possible, to us and to others in the environment,  does not come easily to all of us. How do you do it, thAthA?

I have seen you in many situations – in some situations, it appears as though you were expecting it and you have your ways ready.. In some situations, it appears as though you are looking for ideas to handle; all the while though, your emotions or feelings don’t really spill over.. in some situations, you dont seem to be doing anything – neither do you appear ready nor are you looking for ideas.. You just seem in wait and that wait isn’t disruptive either. Most importantly, when that situation has passed, you just move on to the next situation, with as much enthusiasm as needed. How thAthA?

thAthA (as surprised as MAnvi was earlier, though he ought not to be so surprised. MAnvi had the uncanny ability to read him. Some connection they had!!): MAnvi, you are right in saying that all of us are mentally strong in our own ways. I know that I ‘stay’ mentally strong as well. This may perhaps be different from how others are.

For MAnvi, this was one trait of her thAthA that was inspirational – the way he would say something about himself in such a matter-of-fact way that it does not sound as though he was blowing his own trumpet; but more as ‘this is how I am and I know it’.

thAthA: MAnvi, there are some situations wherein, it would unfold in a manner that I will know in certainity what I need to do in that situation. I don’t need to put as much energy or effort in such situations.

There are some situations wherein, the situation unfolds with certain variables that appear different and I would need to think of how to work in that situation. Some variables maybe in my control and some may not. My first thought is what I need to do within what is in my control. That is what requires my energy and effort. What is not within my control can wait. Within the time that I have, I am able to determine where my energy, effort and emotions need to go. I know what I need to do. My energy ‘stays’ channelised which helps me to move on to the next situation, with relative ease.

There are some situations however, that happen quite unexpectedly. I just go by what occurs to me at that moment, There is no right or wrong here, MAnvi. Something needs to be done and I need to do it, trusting that whatever I am doing, I am doing for the best. Life has made me to be there at that place at that time, when the situation is unfolding. There is no other thought that I entertain. This feeds me with a lot of energy. This helps me to save this energy under my belt, for a later occasion when I may need it. As I have not expended much energy but instead gained much, I move on with relative ease..

MAnvi, while it may be in my nature to stay mentally strong, during and after a situation, I also needed to cultivate to ‘stay’ in the mentally strong mode, as much as possible. How?

– Determine the variables in a situation that are in my control and those that aren’t

– Channelise effort, energy and emotions on those variables within my control

– Variables not in your control can wait

– In an unexpected situation, trust yourself and do what you think you need to

– Deep down is an instinct that knocks on you from time to time, listen to it

– If ‘staying’ mentally strong can be cultivated, it is a skill – build it in your own way.. Remember though –

Any ‘cultivation’ needs ‘staying’ power!!

MAnvi did not want to expend her energy or effort by talking. She just wanted to stay in the energy of what her thAthA said. It was amazing for her to see how her thAthA made everything so doable!!