I have read and heard people relating many incidents from the Mahabharata, to day to day living. I have hence thought that Ramayana is more a story, with some learnings and messages; or perhaps this thought is also because I have had less exposure, to hearing people drawing parallels from the Ramayana. As I read this epic, I realised that there is so much more to it than what has been heard :-). This chapter is the relisation of it, through two situations..

Rama is informed by Kaikeyi, about the decision taken to send him to the forest and of Bharatha being crowned the prince. As Lakshmana is always with Rama, he hears this also.  Rama then goes to see Kousalya to tell her what happened and to take her blessings and leave for the forest. Rama seems unperturbed by what Kaikeyi had told him as much as he has not blamed Dasaratha for whatever happened. Lakshmana on the other hand is furious. He vows to slay Dasaratha, Kaikeyi and Bharatha, if need be. Angry at how Rama has been treated, he also says that no matter the circumstance and the resistance from whoever it maybe, he will ensure that Rama is crowned the prince. He goes to the extent of saying that he will stand in front and by the side of Rama and protect him, sounding like an omnipresent +protector. There are people who will share the challenges that they are going thru, with us, and of how they are being treated by others or being taken for granted by others. We will get riled at the unfairness with which they are being treated, because that is what their tone conveys to us (or rather that is what we think). We are all set to fight for them; and many times, we go and fight for them also. We then are told, “It’s ok. This is what happens all the time. I have got used to it.” And we are like “Duh!! You knew I will go and fight for you, isn’t it? Why did you not say this then?” We get more affected than the person, who we think is ill treated. I actually wonder if we get that affected when we are ill treated. Perhaps and preferably, we should just listen to others when they share with us what they are going through and do NOTHING ELSE, unless we are told explicitly to help them out. Saves a lot of our time, effort and energy. We certainly have our own battles and wars to fight for which we need all that time, effort and energy. 

Rama goes to his palace to meet Sita and tell her that his coronation will not happen as planned, and about the other two commitments that Dasaratha had given Kaikeyi. On hearing that Rama will go to the forest for a period of 14 years, she is determined to go with him and tells him so too. He is equally determined that she stays in the palace so that she does not suffer the grueling life in the forest; and in staying back is also of support to his parents. He dissuades her from coming to the forest with him, by giving examples of the sorrow it would cause her; and after every example he mentions that she will be sorrowful if she comes with him. He gives examples about the sound made by the roar of the lion and the roaring waterfall, about the streams that will be difficult to cross, the rough and rocky contours of the forest, of the only food that they could get of fallen fruits, and of the bed of leaves that will be their mattress. He also tells her that there will be animals that will make the most unexpected of places as their homes; and leading a life that is filled with fear in every moment is not meant for her.

Sita determined as she is to be with Rama during his years in the forest, shares with him of an incident. Her father was told by an astrologer that there will be a period, when Sita will live in the forest. She also mentions that from then on she was visualizing such a life and started to like it so much that now that she has a chance, she wants live how she imagined she would. Not giving in to her determination, Rama stood his ground of wanting her to stay in the palace. Sita then uses different tones – that of taunting Rama by telling him that he was a coward; that while her father got her married to him thinking that he was brave, he was not so.. and that of going emotional, expressing her difficulty of being able to live without him.

It is indeed an eye opener to see the different ways in which influencing is done..

– talking about the impact on the future (Mandarai to Kikeyi)

– bringing to memory what was committed upon, especially to someone to who commitments are sacrosanct (Kaikeyi to Dasaratha)

– giving a negative stroke which will challenge the other person to take a decision, that is just the opposite of what they wanted to take (and take the decision that we wanted them to take) (Sita to Rama)

All the above influencing ways happen when one stakeholder knows well enough, what makes the other stakeholder tick..

On the other hand when any dialogue is had in anger, it does not have the impact that it is intended to have. In my view,  when one attempts to influence in anger, ‘thinking’ flies out of the window and what remains is just the embers; and these embers have minimal effect. In fact, it may have a counter effect many times. It hence is critical that when we intend to influence someone we,

– know the way they think

– be calm before and during the influencing period (no matter the provocation)

– plan what to say and also anticipate what may not go right, when the dialogue is happening (though sometimes what we DON’T anticipate may also happen, and that’s where being calm is important :-))

With so much of influencing happening in Ramayana, I know I am also getting influenced – to just watch situations unfold and make me say, “Epic”