A year and few months back, when my older son said, “Ma, you need an outlet”, I was like “Outlet? What outlet?”

I was aware where he was coming from. He was seeing me trying to handle my grief of losing my sibling; and handling the emotions of a few other familiy members as well. I thought I was handling all that well, though looks like he saw a few signs that I wasn’t seeing. My first response to him was, “I have my school and my PhD study that is helping me to move on and take my mind off. That is an outlet by itself.” His answer was a vehement NO. He then said, “It is time for you to join the Ninjutsu class.” No further explanation was given, no matter how much I probed. By then, as I had been wanting to join the class for a year or so, I jumped at the opportunity.

The word ‘outlet’ that my son had used and me joining the Ninjutsu class was a puzzle for me. I did not connect until recently. About two weeks back, I had the valuable opportunity to learn about ‘Self-Care’. As I went over and over this topic, there was something that resonated strongly in me. To care for oneself is priority!! An outlet is a means for ‘Self-Care’!! I ain’t sure if this is what my son meant but this was my perspective – there is no right and no wrong 🙂

Me being me, looked up the meaning of the word ‘Outlet’ –

– a way of expressing and making good use of strong feelings, ideas or energy

– a method by which emotions, energy or abilities can be expressed

– a place or opening through which something is let out or vented

Training in the Ninjutsu class was a means of expressing and making good use of my feelings and energy and also share my ideas. It was a means of letting out of the emotion called grief, which is an energy by itself. At the same time, it is also a means of expressing my abilities, physical and mental and any other. It is an opportunity to give and take.

Most times, crises or not, we often relegate self-care to the backseat – be it when we are students, working professionals, home makers, and even as we age. Everything except ourselves take priority and pride. In times of crises, don’t even ask!! We are battling different fires and so caught up in the heat, that we have no thought to even step out of it, to take a ‘chill pill’.

Mind and body are just one. Both reflect what we are going thru’ and in their own ways. If our thoughts, words and ideas reflect the state of the mind, the body reflects what it is undergoing – a slump in the shouldres, a bent posture, tight shoulder blades, a tightness in the facial muscles etc. These are let out, quite unknown to us; especially in periods of crises. That is when someone spots it, to alert us. We all need that someone to nudge us, in a direction that will help us to take care of ourselves. We are there at the right time and place for that someone (who is also at the right time and place) to spot the need and alert us.

I guess that is what happened as well, with me and Ninjutsu. This class is a balm, a blessing, an outlet, whichever way one may call it as. I am taking care of myself, as I am engaged physically, mentally, socially and emotionally, when I am in the class. I go for the class two to three days a week but practice is needed, preferably everyday; and that engages me physically, mentally and emotionally.  That way, some minutes a day is just for me and myself.

For many people, what they start as a way to keep themselves fit or to handle an injury or an illness, or like me to handle  multiple enrgies including grief, becomes a  means of self-care. If this continues or a period of time and one loves it, it stays on and continues in one form or the other. We learn to keep ourselves as priority.

Times of crises is also when we are ready to learn. We don’t need times of crisis to start self-care, but well that’s the starting point for many of us.

We are ready to let go of something to let in something!!

I am modifying a quote by Hillel –

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I am not for myself, how can I be for others?